If you are doing theater your script should look similar to this.  Short right margin so if actors go off script you can flip to writing realtime and find your way back to the script.

Also, 1CapApp will NOT feed in an automatic new line when feeding a script.  You must create a NEW LINE macro to do that.  

This is my macro for New Line TPH*L.  
You can pick what you want.

In my Eclipse CAT software I defined this steno TPH*L as TPH*L.

My 1CapApp New Line macro looks like this: TPH*L.

We have short videos how to create a macro and other handouts in Resources.  

TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
AN EXCELLENT "STRIKE," FATHER.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
BUT WHAT ABOUT MERCY? COULD YOU NOT "SPARE" HIM?
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
ROBB, MY SON AND HEIR.
I AM THE LORD OF WINTERFELL. I TAKE NO JOY IN DECAPITATING THIS MAN. BUT THIS IS MY DUTY. YOUR DUTY IS TO LEARN FROM ME AND FOLLOW RIGHT IN MY FOOTSTEPS.
AND JON SNOW, MY BASTARD SON, YOUR DUTY IS TRAVEL NORTH TO THE WALL AND JOIN THE NIGHT'S WATCH. 
THERE YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT CRIMINALS LIKE THIS MAN.

TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THE MAN BUT STOLE A HORSE.

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
UH, YES, A HORSE.
AH, MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS RETURN.
HELLO, MY DEAR SANSA.

TPH*L>> SANSA:
HELLO FATHER.

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
AND HELLO, ARYA

TPH*L>> ARYA:
HELLO FATHER!

TPH*L>> SANSA:
FATHER, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WE'VE FOUND. 
PUPPIES!

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
STAND BACK, SANSA. 
THESE ARE NO PUPPIES. 
THEY ARE DIRE WOLVES.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHAT ARE DIRE WOLVES, FATHER?

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
THEY ARE WOLVES ENLARGED WITH A DANGEROUS, ANCIENT MAGIC KNOWN AS CGI.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
IF CGI IS A DANGEROUS MAGIC, CAN WE AFFORD TO USE IT?

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
OBVIOUSLY NOT.

TPH*L>> SANSA:
I DON'T CARE, I WANT TO KEEP THEM.

TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
MAYBE IT'S GOOD LUCK, FATHER. 
DIRE WOLVES ARE QUITE RARE THESE DAYS.

TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
AND THE WOLF IS THE SIGIL OF THE STARK HOUSE.

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
VERY WELL. FOUR WOLF CUBS FOR MY FOUR CHILDREN.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHAT ABOUT BRAN?

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
FIVE CHILDREN.

TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
AND RICKON?

A HORN SOUNDS IN THE DISTANCE 

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
GOOD LUCK, YOU SAY?

THE SOUND OF HUNDREDS OF FOOTSTEPS MARCHING FORWARD.

TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
A PROCESSION APPROACHES. 
THEY BEAR THE BARATHEON SIGIL. 
THE STAG.

TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THEY COME ALL THE WAY FROM THE SOUTH. 
FROM KING'S LANDING.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
THEY MEAN TO ASK FATHER TO BE THE NEW HAND OF THE KING!

TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
WHAT SAY YOU, FATHER?

TPH*L>> SANSA:
YES, WHAT SAY YOU, FATHER?

TPH*L>> NED STARK:
WINTER IS COMING.

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS: 
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING.
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING!
A CHILL IS IN THE AIR.   
I FEEL A GREAT DESPAIR.
IT CAN'T BE KEPT AT BAY, SO ON YOUR KNEES, AND PRAY.
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING.
STALKING THROUGH THE NIGHT, WALKERS WHO ARE WHITE.
AND THOUGH YOU MAY BE SKILLED, I HEAR THEY CAN'T BE KILLED.
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING,
WINTER IS COMING!

TPH*L>> TYRIONL:
AND SO AM I.
COMING INTO THIS PROSTITUTE.
AND NOW OF COURSE I START TO SHRINK, IT SEEMS OUR WORLD IS ON THE BRINK,
THE BRINK OF WAR.
SO KINDLY PASS ANOTHER DRINK,
'CAUSE WITHOUT WINE, I CANNOT THINK, AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, GET ME ANOTHER WHORE!

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING.
NAME DAYS, WEDDINGS, UNWARRANTED BEHEADINGS.
SO WATCH YOUR NECKS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MAY BE NEXT!
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING!

TPH*L>> SANSA:
AND SO AM I.
COMING OF AGE, THAT IS,
INTO AN IDEALISTIC LIFE.
I'LL BE HAPPY AS JOFFREY'S WIFE.
ONCE I'M FIN'LLY READY TO BEAR, WE'LL HAVE CHILDREN WITH GOLDEN HAIR, BECAUSE DESTINY'S ALWAYS FAIR!
TPH*L>> VILLAGERS: WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING!

TPH*L>> ARYA:
AND SO AM I.
COMING STRAIGHT TO KING'S LANDING!
I AM THE DAUGHTER OF A LORD,
AND WITH MY BROTHER'S LITTLE SWORD, I'LL LEARN TO FIGHT.
YOU MIGHT MISTAKE ME FOR A BOY,
BUT I'M MY PARENTS' PRIDE AND JOY,
AND AS FOR SANSA.
SHE'S NEVER BEEN THAT BRIGHT!

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
WINTER IS COMING.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHEN?

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
WINTER IS COMING.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHEN IS IT COMING?

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
DON'T ASK ME WHEN,

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHICH SEASON?

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
IT'S HARD TO SAY,

TPH*L>> ARYA:
SEASON THREE?

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
COULD BE NEXT SEASON OR TODAY, SO COME WHAT MAY!
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING!

TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
AND SO AM I,
COMING INTO MY OWN, THAT IS.
I TAKE MY PLACE AMONG THE WATCH,
NO GIRL MAY EVER TOUCH MY CROTCH,
I AM A CROW.
SENT TO THE WALL FOR BEING BORN, NOW MY ALLEGIANCES ARE TORN, I AM A BASTARD,
I'LL ALWAYS BE A SNOW!

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
WINTER IS COMING!

TPH*L>> JAIME:
AND SO AM I.
COMING INTO MY OWN, MY VERY OWN SISTER. THE FIRST TIME I KISSED HER,
JAIME AND CERSEI I KNEW SOMETHING WONDERFUL HAD BEGUN!

TPH*L>> CERSEI:
IT'S AMAZING THE LIE THAT WE'VE SPUN,

TPH*L>>JAIME:
NOW MY NEPHEW IS ALSO MY SON,

TPH*L>> JAIME AND CERSEI:
AND THE SECRET IS PART OF THE FUN!

PART OF THE FUN!

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
WINTER IS COMING.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHEN?
TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
WE DO NOT KNOW. WINTER IS COMING.

TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHERE?

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
TO HBO!

TPH*L>> ARYA:
OHHH!

TPH*L>> VILLAGERS:
DRAGONS, GIANTS, SEX WITHOUT COMPLIANCE, IT'S JUST ANOTHER EPISODE OF GAME OF THRONES.
WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING, WINTER IS COMING!  
WINTER IS COMING.
EVERYONE
AND SO ARE WE! 
WINTER IS COMING!!

TPH*L>> DOTHRAKI OFFICIANT:
DO YOU, DAENERYS TARGARYEN, TAKE THIS MAN, KHAL DROGO, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED DOTHRAKI?

TPH*L>> DAENERYS:
VISERYS, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY?

TPH*L>> VISERYS:
THIS AGAIN? 
SISTER, AS I'VE EXPLAINED TO YOU A THOUSAND TIMES, PARTNERING WITH THE DOTHRAKI WILL ENABLE ME TO USE THEIR MILITARY MIGHT TO RETURN HOME AND CLAIM THE THRONE OF WESTEROS, WHICH THE USURPER KING ROBERT BARATHEON STOLE FROM OUR FATHER, THE MAD KING, YEARS AGO.
TPH*

TPH*L>> DAENERYS:
YES, BUT THIS MAN I AM TO MARRY.
I DON'T KNOW HIM. AND HE IS QUITE LARGE. 
AND HE SMELLS. 
DO YOU THINK HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT MY DAY?

TPH*L>> VISERYS:
I'M CERTAIN OF IT. 
THE DOTHRAKI ARE KNOWN TO BE THE FINEST LISTENERS IN ALL OF ESSOS.
GET ON WITH IT.

TPH*L>> DOTHRAKI OFFICIANT:
DO YOU, DAENERYS TARGARYEN, TAKE THIS MAN TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED DOTHRAKI?

TPH*L>> VISERYS:
SHE DOES.

TPH*L>> DAENERYS:
VISERYS--

TPH*L>> DOTHRAKI OFFICIANT:
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU DOTHRAKI AND WIFE.

TPH*L>> DAENERYS:
WELL, MR. DROGO, IS IT? 
IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. 
MY NAME IS DAENERYS.
OH MY!
I GET THE FEELING THAT YOU'RE NOT MUCH OF A CONVERSATIONALIST.
WAIT, IS THIS AN AUDITION FOR MIRAMAX?
UCHH.
WHY IS IT THAT EVERYWHERE I GO, MEN ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO AND HAVING SEX WITH ME AGAINST MY WILL?

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A MAN
WHO GETS TO HAVE THE FINAL SAY.
BUT WHO PUT THESE APES IN CHARGE?
THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY.
THE FACT THAT HE IS LARGER
DOESN'T MAKE ME WEAK.
I WONDER WILL IT EVER BE MY TURN TO SPEAK?
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD, CROSSING NEW UNCHARTED WATERS.
FELLOW SISTERS, PRECIOUS DAUGHTERS,
LET'S BE BRAVE.
DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO BEHAVE!
I WILL NOT ENDURE HARASSMENT TO SUCCEED. A STRONG FEMALE LEAD IS WHAT WE NEED!
MY BROTHER HAS A PLAN,
IT SOUNDS QUITE GRAND, BUT I FEEL USED.
I AM TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT,
HE MOCKS ME;   
HE'S AMUSED!
I PLAY THE ROLE, TO HIM I'M JUST A COMMON WHORE. 
BUT I'M BURNING WITH POTENTIAL THAT I CAN'T IGNORE!
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD,
SITTING ON THE IRON THRONE,
WITH AN ARMY OF MY OWN TO GET THINGS DONE.
MY ASCENSION HAS BEGUN.
I WILL NOT AWAIT A SAVIOR ON A STEED!
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD IS WHAT WE NEED!
THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO ACT,
BEHOLD A BRAND NEW DAY,
WE SHALL RECEIVE TOP BILLING
WE WILL HAVE EQUAL PAY! A STRONG FEMALE LEAD,
IS THE ONE WHO RIDES UP HERE,
ON YOUR BACK NOW, THAT'S GOOD DEAR, TRY SOMETHING NEW.
IT'S THE MODERN THING TO DO.
BE A GOOD DOTHRAKI,   FILL ME WITH YOUR SEED.
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD,
WHO NO LONGER CRIES OR BEGS.
I POSSESS THREE DRAGON EGGS,
ONE DAY THEY'LL HATCH.

TPH*L>> VISERYS:
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
DAENERYS ND VISERYS, YOU ARE NO MATCH
IT IS TIME FOR MEN TO DWINDLE AND RECEDE.
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD IS WHAT WE NEED!

TPH*L>> SANSA:
FATHER, I DON'T SEE WHY YOU HAD TO KILL MY DIRE WOLF, LADY.  
ARYA’S DIRE WOLF IS THE ONE WHO BIT PRINCE JOFFREY!

TPH*L>> ARYA:
JOFFREY'S A SADISTIC LITTLE SHIT. HE DESERVED TO BE BITTEN!

TPH*L>> SANSA:
I HATE YOU!

TPH*L>> ARYA:
I HATE YOU!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
STOP PULLING MY HAIR!
TPH*L>> ARYA:
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN STUPID!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
FATHER, ARE YOU LISTENING TO US?
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
YES, OF COURSE. I'M SORRY, SANSA AND ARYA.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHAT ARE YOU READING, FATHER?
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
IT'S A BOOK. 
A BOOK ABOUT HISTORY.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
"A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE BY GEORGE R.R. MARTIN." 
IT LOOKS RATHER LONG FOR A "SONG."
TPH*L>> ARYA:
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT, FATHER? 
YOU SEEM TROUBLED.
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A DIFFICULT SERIES OF EPISODES. 
I AGREED TO COME TO KING'S LANDING TO BE ROBERT'S HAND, BUT NO SOONER DID WE ARRIVE THAN HE WAS RANDOMLY KILLED ON A HUNT. 
THAT MEANS HIS SON JOFFREY WILL BE THE NEW KING.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
I'M GOING TO MARRY JOFFREY, AND WE'LL HAVE CHILDREN WITH GOLDEN HAIR.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
VOMIT.
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
ACTUALLY, THE INFORMATION IN THIS BOOK LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT JOFFREY IS NOT THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO ROBERT'S THRONE, AND INSTEAD A BASTARD, BORNE OUT OF INCEST BETWEEN QUEEN CERSEI AND HER GOLDEN-HAIRED BROTHER SER JAIME LANNISTER, THE KINGSLAYER.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
NO FATHER, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ABOUT JOFFREY. 
CAN YOU?
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
NO ONE ELSE KNOWS THIS INFORMATION FOR CERTAIN, SO IT MAY FALL UPON ME TO OPPOSE JOFFREY'S ASCENSION.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
YOU DON'T WANT TO CROSS THE LANNISTERS, FATHER. 
LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO BRAN. PUSHED HIM RIGHT OUT A WINDOW. 
HE CAN'T EVEN WALK.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
SURE HE CAN, HE'S RIGHT OVER THERE!
TPH*L>> BRAN STARK:
ACTUALLY, I'M NOT HERE. I'M OBSERVING YOU FROM THE FUTURE. 
AND I'M ONLY STANDING IN MY MIND. THIS MYSTICAL OLD MAN BEHIND ME IS THE THREE-EYED RAVEN.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH ALL THAT.
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
YOU SEE? 
I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY OWN SON FROM BECOMING A TIME TRAVELING MUTANT.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, FATHER. YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT'S RIGHT, NO MATTER THE COST.
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
YES, BUT IN DOING SO I PUT MY FAMILY AT RISK.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
CHEER UP, FATHER!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YOU'RE THE MORAL COMPASS OF THIS TALE,
YOU STAND FOR ALL THAT'S GOOD.
WHEN WE'RE FEELING LOST,
YOU LEAD US THROUGH THE DARK.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF, YOU CANNOT FAIL,
AS IF OUR FATHER COULD!
FOR THE HERO OF OUR STORY IS NED STARK.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
TPH*L>> NED STARK:, THE LORD OF WINTERFELL, THE LEADER WE DESERVE,
WITH THE GRATITUDE OF ALL THOSE WHOM YOU SERVE.
TPH*L>> ARYA:  NED STARK, THE WARDEN OF THE NORTH, YOUR ENEMIES WILL FALL, ONE AND ALL, FOR THEY DO NOT HAVE YOUR NERVE!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YOU WILL PROVE YOUR CASE AND WIN THE DAY,
YOUR WISDOM IS PROFOUND.
SOME CHARACTERS JUST HAVE THAT CERTAIN SPARK.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
SO TURN THAT FROWN RIGHT UPSIDE DOWN,
YOUR POSITION HERE IS SOUND.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
IF WE LOSE YOU NOW WE'D SURELY JUMP THE SHARK.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
FOR THE HERO OF OUR STORY IS TPH*L>> NED STARK:!
TPH*L>> SANSA:  NED STARK, THE LORD OF WINTERFELL,
YOU BLAZE A MIGHTY TRAIL.
IN COMPARISON ALL OTHER HEROES PALE.
TPH*L>> ARYA:  NED STARK, THE SAVIOR OF OUR TIMES,
I'M PROUD TO CALL YOU "DAD."
THE LANNISTERS ARE BAD, YOU WILL PREVAIL!
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
A FAMILIAL HISTORY OF INCESTUOUS MYSTERY. WHO IS THE RIGHTFUL KING? WE'LL HAVE TO SEE! THIS BOY, JOFFREY, WITH GOLDEN HAIR.
I DO NOT THINK HE IS ROBERT'S HEIR.
SO STANNIS, ROBERT'S BROTHER, MUST BE MADE AWARE!
TPH*L>> ARYA:
THAT'S RIGHT, FATHER!
NED STARK, THE LORD OF WINTERFELL, IS HERE TO DRIVE THE PLOT!
I WILL MAKE SURE ROBERT DID NOT DIE FOR NAUGHT.
NED STARK THE ONE YOU'RE ROOTING FOR, WHEN HOPE IS RUNNING LOW.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
LIKE NOW, SO FATHER, GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT!
TPH*L>> ARYA: NED STARK, THE BEST THERE'S EVER BEEN, YOU'RE SAFE, THAT'S RIGHT I CHECKED.
TPH*L>> NED STARK:
THE LORD OF WINTERFELL IS HERE!
ARYA AND NED STARK.
THE HERO ALWAYS LIVES, IT'S QUITE ROUTINE.
SANSA NED STARK, THE FINEST HAND WE'VE SEEN, WHAT COURAGE YOU PROJECT.
NED STARK:
TPH*L>> NED STARK: IS HERE TO STAY, SO HAVE NO FEAR!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
PLAYED BRILLIANTLY BY THE GREAT SEAN BEAN!
A TERRIBLE DISSONANT CHORD INTERRUPTS THE OTHERWISE JOYOUS SONG. 
THE GIRLS AND THEIR FATHER LOOK AROUND IN CONFUSION.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
WHAT? 
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
CITY WATCH
SEAN BEAN ALWAYS DIES.   
SEAN BEAN ALWAYS DIES.
PATRIOT GAMES, GOLDENEYE, CASTING HIM IS QUITE UNWISE.
SEAN BEAN ALWAYS DIES.
ARYA AND SANSA:
NO! 
NOOOO!!
CITY WATCH
HOW COULD YOU NOT REALIZE?  
IT CAN'T BE STOPPED. SAVE YOUR CRIES.  
HEAR THAT CHOP?
(SOUND OF A CHOP, OFF STAGE)
SHIELD YOUR EYES.
A FAMILIAR THUD, FOLLOWING BY A SCRATCHING SOUND.
CITY WATCH
SEAN BEAN ALWAYS DIES.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
FATHER!!
I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE. 
ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING ON MY DEATH LIST IMMEDIATELY.
SHAE!?
TYRION, MY TURTLE! 
I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK YOU WERE NEVER COMING TO SEE ME.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU, IT'S "MY LION," NOT "MY TURTLE." 
THE LANNISTER SIGIL IS THE LION, THE STARK IS THE WOLF, AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. AND IT IS NOT SAFE FOR YOU TO BE HERE! 
WE DO NOT WANT MY FOUL SISTER REPORTING YOU TO MY FATHER. 
HE DOES NOT APPROVE OF PROSTITUTES.
TPH*L>> SHAE:
IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU? 
A PROSTITUTE?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
NO, OF COURSE NOT. 
YOU ARE ALSO LADY SANSA'S HANDMAIDEN.
TPH*L>> SHAE:
AND?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!
SHE MELTS IN HIS ARMS.
TPH*L>> SHAE:  
MY MOLE.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
"LION."
MY DARLING, I HAVE NEWS. BIG. 
HUGE.
I'VE JUST RECEIVED WORD FROM MY FATHER. 
I AM TO BE THE NEW "HAND OF THE KING."
TPH*L>> SHAE:
HAND? HOW CAN THAT BE? YOU ARE ONLY A DWARF!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
YES, I KNOW. 
THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME, BUT ALSO, AS RECENT HISTORY HAS PROVEN, QUITE DANGEROUS.
TPH*L>> SHAE:
IT'S OKAY, MY SQUIRREL, GO AHEAD AND EXPRESS YOURSELF.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I WANT TO EXPRESS MYSELF.
(EXPLOSION)
LION!
IT'S JUST... THE LAST MAN WHO HAD HIS OWN SONG WAS BEHEADED BEFORE IT FINISHED.
TPH*L>> SHAE:
I HAVE FAITH IN YOU.
YOU ARE DIFFERENT, MY TERMITE. 
JUST LOOK AT YOU!
TYRION
LONG HAVE MY PEOPLE BEEN FANCIED A JOKE,
A RESULT OF OUR DIMINUTIVE SIZE.
BUT THERE'S ALSO A HISTORY OF LITTLE FOLK
WHO ARE GALLANT, COURAGEOUS AND WISE
TYRION.
THERE WAS THORIN, THE HEIR OF EREBOR,
WHO LED 12 OF HIS KIN ON A TREK.
GWILDOR INVENTED THE COSMIC KEY
AND WILLOW WAS BRAVE FOR A PECK.
BUT NONE OF THOSE PYGMIES WERE GIVEN THIS CHANCE,
AND NONE WERE AS CUNNING NOR CLEVER.
HOBBITS AND MUNCHKINS WHO FROLIC AND DANCE
ALL PALE NEXT TO ME.
YES, ME.
THE BEST DWARF EVER,
THIS I PUBLICLY DECREE.
MY FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
'CAUSE I PAY THEM HANDSOMELY.
TYRION THE BEST DWARF EVER,
I'M A LION TO MY SHAE.
THEY CALL ME MONSTER,
BUT ALL THAT NONSENSE ENDS TODAY!
WITH THE LANNISTER NAME COMES A CERTAIN ACCLAIM
AS I TAKE ON MY GREATEST ENDEAVOR.
I KNOW MORE THAN MOST KINGS,
IN THE SHADOWS INSTEAD YOU'LL FIND ME,
PULLING THE STRINGS,
THE BEST DWARF EVER.
THEY CALL ME HALF MAN, BUT I'M A WHOLE HERO AND I HAVE A FEW TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE.
BEHOLD MY TWO EMMYS, I CAN OUTACT DENIRO
AND I'LL PROVE IT ON BLACKWATER'S EVE.
PLAYING THE GAME, LETTING GO OF MY SHAME,
I WILL DO MY FATHER PROUD.
RESPECTED BY ALL, WHY I FEEL FIVE FEET TALL,
GO ON, SAY MY TITLE ALOUD...
TYRION THE BEST DWARF EVER,
IT IS TIME TO SHOW MY WORTH.
HEAR HOW THEY LOVE ME,
I'LL REDEEM MY TRAGIC BIRTH.
TYRION THE BEST DWARF EVER, THOUGH THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK,
I'M QUITE THE LOVER,
WITH A NORMAL MAN-SIZED COCK.
TYRION GIVING JOFFREY A SLAP,
I'VE NO TIME FOR HIS CRAP
WHILE I'M HOLDING THE CITY TOGETHER.
WE HAVEN'T A PRAYER WITH THIS FOOL IN COMMAND,
THANK THE GODS HE'S GOT ME AS HIS HAND!
THE BEST DWARF EVER.
CHORUS THE BEST DWARF EVER!
CERSEI THE WORST DWARF EVER,
HE WAS BORN WITHOUT A SOUL.
I HAVE NO PITY
FOR THIS GRUESOME LITTLE TROLL!
TYRION.
CERSEI THE BEST DWARF EVER.
THE WORST DWARF EVER! 
HOW I'VE WAITED FOR THIS ROLE.
I HOPE YOU ROT!
YOU WILL RESPECT ME THE WORST DWARF EVER!
NO MORE USING ME TO BOWL A COMMANDER YOU ARE NOT!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
DON'T BELITTLE MY SIZE,
I AM HERE TO ADVISE,
WE'VE A SERIES OF BATTLES TO WEATHER.
ALAS, WARWICK DAVIS IS NOT HERE TO SAVE US,
INSTEAD YOU'VE GOT ME!
CERSEI YOU KILLED OUR MOTHER!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
HAVE SOME FAITH AND YOU'LL SEE!
CERSEI YOU ARE NOT MY BROTHER!
TYRION
I'M EXCITED TO BE.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WEE!
TYRION AND COMPANY THE BEST DWARF EVER!
CERSEI THE WORST DWARF EVER!
TYRION AND COMPANY THE BEST DWARF EVER!
TYRION AND COMPANY
EVER!
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
BRAVO, UNCLE. THE TUNE WANDERED A BIT THOUGH. 
I WONDER IF A "SHORTER" MELODY WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE FITTING FOR THE OCCASION.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
A "SHORTER" MELODY, I SAID! 
TPH*L>> SANSA:
AN EXCELLENT PLAY ON WORDS, YOUR GRACE.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
TRULY, MY DARLING SON.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
YES. I THOUGHT SO TOO. YOU KNOW, I'VE ALSO WRITTEN A SONG. 
TO COMMEMORATE MY ASCENSION TO THE THRONE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT, UNCLE?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
YOUR UNCLE AND I HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO DISCUSS THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY SONG?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WELL, WITH NED STARK EXECUTED ON YOUR ORDER, HIS SON ROBB NOW MARCHES HIS ARMY ON KING'S LANDING. 
YOUR UNCLE JAIME HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND IS BEING HELD FOR RANSOM BY SAID ARMY.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
AND ROBB IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF OUR CONCERNS. THANKS TO NED'S MEDDLING, PUBLICLY QUESTIONING YOUR "HERITAGE," KING ROBERT'S BROTHERS BOTH HAVE THEIR EYES SET ON YOUR THRONE AS WELL.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
AND LET US NOT FORGET THE NEWS FROM ACROSS THE NARROW SEA, WHERE DAENERYS STORMBORN RAISES AN ARMY OF HER OWN, ALSO IN THE NAME OF RETAKING YOUR THRONE.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
NONE OF THIS SOUNDS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY
SONG!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WHY NOT SING IT FOR LADY SANSA INSTEAD? 
A PRIVATE SERENADE FOR YOUR DEARLY BETROTHED?
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
YES. 
LADY SANSA.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YES, KING JOFFREY.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
MEEEE-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-
TPH*L>> SANSA:
EXCUSE ME, KING JOFFREY.
I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT, BUT MUST YOU REALLY WARM UP FOR SO LONG?
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
"WARM UP"? NO, THAT'S THE SONG. IT'S CALLED "ME." DON'T YOU LIKE IT?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YES, OF COURSE. IT'S WONDERFUL.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
YES, IT IS. AND YET, YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
I'M SORRY, MY LORD.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
WELL, MAYBE THIS WILL CHEER YOU UP. 
SOMEONE SPECIAL IS HERE TO SEE YOU.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
NO! FATHER!!
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
THAT'S RIGHT. 
IT'S THE HERO OF OUR STORY!
MY DARLING DAUGHTER, WHERE HAS MY BODY GONE? NO MATTER. THE VIEW IS QUITE NICE FROM UP HERE. 
I THINK I CAN SEE ALL THE WAY TO THE WALL!"
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
SHOW YOURSELF, JOFFREY BARATHEON! 
MURDERER AND FALSE KING! 
I AM READY TO FIGHT!
TPH*L>> TPH*L>> SAMWELL::
THERE'S NO JOFFREY 'ROUND HERE, THAT'S FOR SURE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
TYRION LANNISTER, DEMON MONKEY, I WILL SHOW YOU NO MERCY!
TPH*L>> TPH*L>> SAMWELL::
WELL HE WAS HERE, BUT THAT WAS EARLIER.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
VERY WELL.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THE LANNISTERS MUST BE DEFEATED. AS A SON OF TPH*L>> NED STARK:--
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
A BASTARD SON, YES.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
AS A BASTARD SON OF TPH*L>> NED STARK:, IT IS MY DUTY TO JOIN MY BROTHER ROBB AND AVENGE MY FATHER.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
NO,  JON, YOUR DUTY IS TO YOUR BROTHERS RIGHT HERE. THE BROTHERS OF THE WATCH. WE'RE MEANT TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM THE WHITE WALKERS.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHITE WALKERS!!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHERE ARE THEY? I'LL KILL THEM WHERE THEY STAND!
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
EASY, JON. THERE ARE NO WHITE WALKERS HERE. NOR IS THE ARMY OF THE DEAD THAT FOLLOWS THEM.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
NONE HERE? THEN WHERE ARE THEY?
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
OH, OUT THERE,  SOMEWHERE. YOU KNOW. THEY'LL BE HERE EVENTUALLY. AND THAT'S WHEN WE'LL BE READY. WINTER IS COMING!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW: SO I'VE HEARD.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY, JON.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I AM HAPPY, SAMWISE.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
WE CAN'T BE FIGHTING ALL THE TIME, JON. 
SOME CORNERS OF THE WORLD.
THEY'RE JUST A BIT QUIETER THAN OTHERS.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I KNOW. IT'S JUST THAT,  
SOMEHOW I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING BIG THINGS FROM ME.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
HEY. 
AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT ME, RIGHT?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF WE COULD HAVE SEX.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
YOU MEAN, YOU AND I?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
NOT YOU AND I. 
WITH A WOMAN. 
THEY WON'T EVEN GIVE ME THAT. BLOODY VOWS OF CELIBACY.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
DON'T WORRY, JON. 
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
I'M SURE YOU'LL GET TO DO SOMETHING,  
IF NOT SOMEONE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
IS WINTER COMING?  
THE WALL IS SO BORING.
WHAT IS THAT SOUND, SAM?
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
IT'S THE AUDIENCE SNORING.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
MY TRAINING'S ALL BUT THROUGH, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO, BUT STAND HERE BROODING IN THE COLD, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.
IS WINTER COMING?
A HORN BLOWS IN THE DISTANCE,
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I WONDER WHAT'S BEYOND THE WALL,
COME SAM, I'M SURE YOU HEARD THE CALL,  WHAT COULD IT MEAN?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW: I SEE A SPRAWLING SEA OF WHITE,
AND THERE'S NO END TO IT IN SIGHT, SO HERE WE HAVE IT.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
THIS IS A POINTLESS SCENE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
IS WINTER COMING?  
I JUST CANNOT FEEL IT.
IS WINTER COMING? 
OR DID THEY REPEAL IT? 
THE FREEFOLK AND THE CROWS,
THEIR CONFLICT MAKES ME DOZE.
SO TELL ME WHERE'S THIS UNDEAD ARMY?
NO ONE KNOWS.
IS WINTER COMING? 
HELLO? 
SAM?
ANYBODY?
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
WHAT IS IT? 
HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A WOMAN BEFORE,  JON SNOW?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME, WILDING?
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
THAT'S YOU'RE NAME?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YES.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 
KILL ME!
DON'T TELL ME IT'S CHIVALRY STOPPING YOU, YOU CUNT. MY GOD, YOU'RE BORING.
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS? 
I'M A WILDING! 
IF YOU DON'T KILL ME, I CAN VERY WELL PROMISE THAT I'LL KILL YOU FIRST CHANCE I GET.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I CAN'T DO IT.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
KIDNAPPING, THEN? 
WELL, IT'S A START. 
WE'LL MAKE A CHARACTER OUT OF YOU YET, JON SNOW.
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
MY FIRST-BORN SON JAIME IS HELD PRISONER BY THE BOY KING OF THE NORTH. 
MY DAUGHTER CERSEI CANNOT PREVENT HER OWN SON FROM RECKLESSLY BEHEADING NED STARK AND STARTING A WAR. 
AND WORST OF ALL, TYRION IS A LECHEROUS DWARF. 
THESE CHILDREN OF MINE, THEY DO NOT KNOW THEIR
DUTY!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
IT SEEMS MY WINE IS EMPTY. 
BOY!
TPH*L>> ARYA:
YES, MY LORD.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
POUR MY WINE.
YOU'RE FROM THE NORTH. 
TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF ROBB STARK?
TPH*L>> ARYA:
I KNOW HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU.
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
WHAT WAS THAT?
TPH*L>> ARYA:
NOTHING, MY LORD.
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
VERY WELL.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
AND IF HE DOESN'T KILL YOU, I WILL. 
YOU ARE ON
MY DEATH LIST!
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
SPEAK UP, BOY!
TPH*L>> ARYA:
MORE WINE, YOUR GRACE?
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
YOU KNOW, BOY.
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A "REAL BOY."
TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, MY LORD?
TPH*L>> LANNISTER SOLDIER:
LORD TYWIN, PETER BAYLISH, OFTEN REFERRED TO AS LITTLE FINGER, IS HERE TO SEE YOU.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE LITTLE FINGER REALIZES WHO I AM.
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
SEND HIM IN.
BOY? 
BOY?!
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
DON'T I KNOW YOU?
TPH*L>> ARYA:
OH NO. TPH*L>> THE HOUND:. THE LANNISTERS' TRAINED GUARD DOG!
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
SPEAK YOUR NAME.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
I'M JUST A LOCAL PEASANT BOY. HARRY'S MY NAME.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
NO YOU'RE NOT HARRY. YOU'RE TPH*L>> ARYA: STARK.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
AM NOT.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
ARE TOO.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
AM NOT.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
ARE TOO.
TPH*L>> DAENERYS:
MY MOON AND STARS, HOW FAR WE HAVE COME. OUR CHILD IS YOUR SPITTING IMAGE.
OUR PEOPLE NOW TRUST IN ME AS THE TRUE KHALEESI. WE HAVE CROSSED THE GREAT DESERT, ACQUIRED SHIPS, AND PURCHASED AN ARMY OF UNSULLIED WARRIORS. MY THREE DRAGONS GROW MORE POWERFUL WITH EACH PASSING DAY. WE ARE SO CLOSE TO ACHIEVING OUR GREATEST DREAMS. I ONLY WISH...
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
KHALEESI.
TPH*L>> DAENERYS & KHALEESI:
THAT YOU WERE STILL ALIVE.
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
THE FORMER SLAVES OF YUNKAI WISH TO GREET THEIR LIBERATOR.
KHALEESI, IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
YES OF COURSE. FORGIVE ME, MISSANDEI.
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
WAS IT ANOTHER FLASHBACK?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WE CANNOT LOOK BEHIND US. LET US WALK FORWARD TOGETHER.
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
PLEASE. 
THIS WAY.
TPH*L>> SLAVES:
MYSAH! 
MYSAH!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WHAT DO THEY SAY?
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
"MYSAH." 
IT MEANS "MOTHER."
THE CROWD BEGINS TO CHANT THE NAME "MYSAH."
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
MYSAH LOVES YOU! 
MYSAH HERE TO PROTECT YOU!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
MYSAH YOUR HUMBLE RULER!
THE SNICKERING ESCALATES. 
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WHY DO THEY LAUGH?
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
THEY THINK.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
SPEAK!
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
THEY THINK YOU SOUND LIKE JAR-JAR BINKS.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
SAVAGES. 
SER JORAH, EXECUTE THEM IMMEDIATELY!
TPH*L>> JORAH:
WHICH ONES, MY QUEEN?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
ALL OF THEM OF COURSE!
TPH*L>> JORAH:  KHALEESI, ARE YOU SURE THAT IS THE FIRST IMPRESSION YOU WOULD MAKE TO THESE PEOPLE? 
TO KILL THEM ALL?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
YOU ARE MY MOST LOYAL AND TRUSTED ADVISER. 
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO TO THOSE WHO MOCK MY LEADERSHIP BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN?
TPH*L>> JORAH:
PERHAPS YOU COULD KILL HALF OF THEM.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
SO BE IT. 
SHALL I HAVE MY DRAGONS BURN THEM, OR SHOULD WE CRUCIFY THEM ALONG THE ROAD TO MEEREEN?
TPH*L>> JORAH:
KHALEESI, I LOVE YOU.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WHAT?
TPH*L>> JORAH:
NOTHING, NOTHING.
NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, PERHAPS YOU WOULD SHOW EVEN GREATER STRENGTH BY GRANTING THEM MERCY?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WELL WHICH IS IT THEN? 
WHY MUST EVERY DECISION BE SO DIFFICULT!?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI. 
SO MANY CHOICES FOR A QUEEN.
AM I CRUEL, OR SHALL WE HAVE MERCY?
I CANNOT RULE FROM IN BETWEEN.
THEY CALL ME MOTHER OF DRAGONS,
BREAKER OF CHAINS. EVERYONE'S LOOKING TO ME.
THERE ARE SO MANY TO SAVE, LIKE THE UNSULLIED SLAVES,
WHO NOW WORK FOR ME FOR FREE!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI.
WHEN THERE ARE SPOILED DRAGONS TO RAISE.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
THEY ARE INDISCRIMINATE KILLERS,
BUT I AM SURE IT'S ONLY A PHASE.
HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS CAN I PROVE TO YOU THAT I AM THE ONE TO ENDORSE?
WHETHER WALKING THROUGH FIRE, DEFEATING A WARLOCK,
OR EATING THE HEART OF A HORSE.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI. 
TOO MANY MEN ARE DRIVEN BY LUST.
DEAREST JORAH, I AM SO GRATEFUL,
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I CAN TRUST.
TPH*L>> JORAH:
KHALEESI, I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!
MY PERFECT COUNTERPART.
IT WOULD CRUSH MY SOUL TO TELL YOU,
I WAS SPYING FROM THE START.
IT'S NOT EASY BEING YOUR SERVANT, FEELING A LOVE I'VE NEVER KNOWN. IT'S OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE,
THEY JOKE ABOUT ME BEING IN THE FRIEND ZONE!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI.
WITH ALL YOUR FOES EXPOSING YOUR FLAWS.
SAY GOOD-BYE TO SEEING ME NAKED, BEHOLD MY FRESH NO NUDITY CLAUSE!
ALL OF THE HATERS COMPLAIN THAT I WHINE TOO MUCH
FOR A QUEEN OF THE MIGHTY DOTHRAKI.
DON'T THEY RECOGNIZE ALL OF THE LIVES I TOUCH,
WHEN THEY COMMENT ONLINE AND ATTACK ME?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI.
WHEN THERE ARE MASSIVE CITIES TO RUN.
EVIL FORCES PLOTTING AGAINST ME,
AND I HAVE BARELY EVEN BEGUN.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI: AND THE SLAVES
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI.
BUT YOU WILL NOT DO BETTER THAN ME!
JORAH
WILL SHE LOVE ME OR IS MY CHANCE BLOWN?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI: AND THE SLAVES WITH MY ANCIENT, POWERFUL BLOODLINE, THINK OF HOW BRIGHT YOUR FUTURE WILL BE!
JORAH
WILL I EVER ESCAPE FROM THE FRIEND ZONE?
IT'S NOT EASY.
IT'S NOT EASY.
IT'S NOT EASY BEING KHALEESI.
TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
SENOR FREY, YO, ROBB STARK, Y MI MADRE CATELYN STARK LES SOLICITAMOS QUE NOS PERMITA CRUZAR SU PUENTE PARA QUE PODAMOS SORPRENDER A LOS LANNISTERS.
TPH*L>> WALDER FREY:
"CHICO REY DEL NORTE," VOY A PERMITIR QUE SU EJERCITO DEL NORTE EL PASO SEGURO QUE--
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
WAIT.
MY APOLOGIES, LORD FREY. 
SOMEONE ACCIDENTALLY TURNED ON HBO LATINO. PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUMP BACK 10 SECONDS?
TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
VERY WELL.
LORD FREY, I, ROBB STARK, AND MY MOTHER CATELYN, HUMBLY REQUEST THAT YOU ALLOW US TO CROSS YOUR BRIDGE SO THAT WE MIGHT SURPRISE THE TRAITOROUS LANNISTERS IN BATTLE.
TPH*L>> WALDER FREY:
"BOY KING OF THE NORTH," I WILL ALLOW YOUR NORTHERN ARMY THE SAFE PASSAGE YOU SEEK, PROVIDED YOU PAY ME A HEALTHY TRIBUTE.
TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
OF COURSE, LORD FREY.
TPH*L>> WALDER FREY:
AND THAT YOU AGREE TO MARRY ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS.
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
VERY WELL.
UGH.
SWIPE LEFT. 
SWIPE LEFT. LEFT.
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
TAKE YOUR TIME. 
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND ONE THAT SUITS YOU.
TPH*L>> ROBB STARK:
YOU MUST FOLLOW YOUR HEAD,
NOT YOUR HEART.
THERE'S NO TIME NOW FOR LOVE, AS A STARK I MUST DO MY PART.
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
YOU HAVE MADE YOUR CHOICE?
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
I HAVE.
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
EXCELLENT. I WILL MAKE THE ARRANGEMENTS. 
I'M SURE WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN VERY SOON.
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
I SAID, I'M SURE WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN VERY SOON!
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
EXCUSE ME. 
ARE YOU ONE OF WALDER FREY'S DAUGHTERS?
TPH*L>> TALISA:
NO, I AM TALISA, A FAIR NURSE FROM VOLANTIS.
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
ROBB, YOU MADE A PROMISE TO WALDER FREY. 
A KING MUST KEEP HIS WORD.
TPH*L>> ROBB STARK: YOU MUST FOLLOW YOUR HEART,
NOT YOUR HEAD.
MARK MY WORDS ON THIS DAY,
I WILL MARRY THIS GIRL INSTEAD.
SWIPE RIGHT!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
STANNIS' SHIPS DRAW NEAR. 
THE BATTLE WILL SOON BE UPON US.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WELL, THANK THE GODS WE HAVE A MILITARY GIANT LIKE YOU TO ADVISE KING JOFFREY.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
ENOUGH WITH THE SHORT JOKES. 
I ASSURE YOU, I'VE HEARD THEM ALL ALREADY. 
AND WHERE IS YOUR SON THE KING? 
WON'T HE BE LEADING THE DEFENSE OF THE CITY?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
JOFFREY IS FINISHING HIS DESSERT.
TYRION
AH. IS THAT "DESSERT" WITH TWO "S"ES,  OR WITH ONLY ONE?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
GO AHEAD. INSULT THE KING.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
ONE DAY I WILL FIND OUT WHAT IS DEAR TO YOU AND MAKE IT TURN TO ASH IN YOUR MOUTH.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY LINE.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
THERE'S NOTHING YOU HAVE THAT I CANNOT TAKE AWAY.
TPH*L>> :HAE
OH, MY PIMPLE! 
DO NOT WORRY. 
YOU'LL BE MAGNIFICENT!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I-- I DO NOT KNOW YOU, MADAME!
TPH*L>> SHAE:
DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS, MY POSTAGE STAMP.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
MY LION!!
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 
BUT YOU LOOK LIKE A COMMON WHORE TO ME!
TPH*L>> SHAE:
BUT I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
AND YOU ARE DELUSIONAL!
TPH*L>> SHAE:
I LOVE YOU, MY WALNUT!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
WELL CLEARLY I DO NOT LOVE YOU!
TPH*L>> SHAE:
HOW COULD YOU!? 
I HOPE YOU DIE TONIGHT!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
THAT WOMAN. 
SHE MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU, DOESN'T SHE?
A HORN BLOWS.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
THEY'VE COME.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
ALL IS LOST. 
IF ONLY JAIME AND FATHER WERE HERE.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
WELL THEY'RE NOT. 
AND NEITHER IS YOUR MISERABLE DESSERT-EATING SON.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
BUT FORTUNATELY FOR KING'S LANDING, I AM HERE. BRONN!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
THERE'S NO NEED TO PERSPIRE,
WE HAVE WILD FIRE
TO LIGHT UP THEIR SORRY CAMPAIGN!
AND THOUGH JOFFREY HAS FLED, YOU'VE GOT ME INSTEAD! WE WON'T QUIT, UNTIL THEY'RE ALL SLAIN!
FIRE!!
TPH*L>> TYRION: THE BEST DWARF EVER
AND A HERO TO THE MASSES.
LOOK, HERE THEY COME NOW!
WE'LL FUCK THESE SOLDIERS IN THEIR ASSES!
MEN WILL SPILL THROUGH THIS GATE,
LET'S GO KILL THEM, WHY WAIT?
ATTACK! LEAVE NO HEAD UNSEVERED!
HEIGHT ISN'T A FACTOR
WHEN YOU'RE THE BEST ACTOR,
SO STANNIS, YOU CREEP, STAY AWAY FROM MY KEEP!
THIS IS JUST LIKE HELM'S DEEP!
EVERYONE THE BEST DWARF EVER!
JOFFREY
BRAVO, UNCLE. 
TRULY, BRAVO.
I HEREBY GIFT THE TITLE OF "SAVIOR OF THE CITY" TO A REMARKABLE MAN, A MAN WHO HAS BEEN AN ANGEL ON OUR SHOULDERS.
TPH*L>> JOFFREY:
MY GRANDFATHER, TYWIN LANNISTER!
TYWIN, AS MY UNCLE HAS BEEN INJURED, I ALSO PRONOUNCE YOU THE NEW HAND OF THE KING!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
WHAT?!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
THANK YOU, MY KING. I ACCEPT THIS GREAT HONOR, AND IN RETURN, I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU.
WE CANNOT HAVE THE KING MARRYING THE DAUGHTER OF A TRAITOR. 
INSTEAD, YOU WILL WED MARGAERY OF THE HOUSE TYRELL.
TPH*L>> MARGAERY:
PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MY HANDSOME, POWERFUL KING.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
MAY THE ALLIANCE BETWEEN THE LANNISTERS AND THE TYRELLS BE FOREVER STRONG.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
AND YOU, TYRION, WILL MARRY THE DAUGHTER OF A TRAITOR, LADY SANSA.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
HAS THIS GIRL NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
I AM YOUR FATHER AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY. 
YOU'LL START BY PUTTING A LANNISTER CHILD IN THIS STARK GIRL'S BELLY.
NOW COME, WE HAVE WEDDINGS TO PLAN.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
HELLO?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
DOWN HERE.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
OH NO. 
SOMEONE HELP ME. 
I'VE BECOME A GIANT!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
WHO WOULD BELIEVE IT? 
THE KINGSLAYER, JAIME LANNISTER, TAKEN PRISONER BY A BOY-KING OF THE NORTH, AND NOW HELD FOR RANSOM BY A LADY SASQUATCH SUCH AS YOURSELF.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
STOP RECAPPING, IT'S UNDIGNIFIED.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT UNDIGNIFIED? 
TECHNICALLY, THIS IS MY FIRST SCENE. 
A PERSON OF MY IMPORTANCE, RELEGATED TO THIS SIDESHOW, OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. COULDN'T YOU CUT ME A LITTLE SLACK, YOU COLOSSAL CREATURE?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
MY NAME IS BRIENNE OF TARTH.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
BRIENNE OF TARTH, YOU SAY? 
INTERESTING. 
ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE RELATED TO HARRY OF THE HENDERSONS?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
DO NOT MAKE ME HURT YOU. 
I SWORE AN OATH TO CATELYN STARK THAT I WOULD RETURN YOU SAFELY TO KING'S LANDING IN EXCHANGE FOR THE LIVES OF HER DAUGHTERS SANSA AND ARYA.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
NOW WHO'S RECAPPING?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
VERY WELL.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
YOU REALIZE THAT IF EITHER ONE OF US ARE GOING TO MAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO KING'S LANDING ALIVE.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
WORK TOGETHER? 
YOU AND I? 
MAY THE GODS HAVE MERCY ON US BOTH.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
I AM THE BEST, WHILE YOU ARE A BEAST.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
YOU'RE A MISERABLE PEST, AND A SCOUNDREL.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
AT LEAST!
ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NOT A PENIS UNDER THERE?
JAIME AND BRIENNE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR!
BRIENNE I SWORE AN OATH TO LADY CAT
THAT FOR HER DAUGHTERS I WOULD TRADE YOU.
I BET THE GIANT AND THE MOOSE
WERE VERY DRUNK WHEN THEY FUCKED AND MADE YOU!
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN,  THERE IS DANGER EV'RYWHERE.
TPH*L>> JAIME AND BRIENNE:
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
TO THE TWINS. 
I MEAN TO SELL YOU BACK TO THE STARKS. YOU'RE BROTHER ROBB IS GETTING MARRIED THERE.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
ROBB'S GETTING MARRIED TOO? 
AM I THE ONLY ONE NOT GETTING MARRIED?
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
YOU TALK TOO MUCH.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
YOU BREATHE TOO MUCH.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
I AM THE HOUND, YOU ARE A WHELP.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
IT'S A PITY WE'RE IN NEED OF EACH OTHER'S HELP.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
THERE IS NOTHING MUCH IN COMMON THAT WE SHARE.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
A MORE
TPH*L>> ARYA:
UNLIKELY PAIR!
HOW DID I END UP HALF OF THIS RANDOM DUUUUU-O?
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
YOU'D BE DEAD WITHOUT ME.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
THAT'S A GOOD ONE, HOUND.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
IT'S TRUE, THOUGH.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
I AM A WILDLING, YOU ARE A CROW.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YOU HAVE A BIG MOUTH.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW.
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING WARM BEHIND THAT ICY GLARE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I ADMIT I'M STRICKEN BY HER FLAMING HAIR.
YGRITTE
ALL THE MAKINGS OF A STAR-CROSSED LOVE AFFAIR.
AND YGRITTE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
DO YOU HAVE A SCROTUM? 
PERHAPS YOU'RE A TRANS?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
I WON'T ANSWER THAT, BUT I DO HAVE TWO HANDS.
TPH*L>> JAIME:  (WOUNDED)
WELL IF NOT FOR ME YOU WOULD'VE BEEN DEFILED.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
HOW COULD I BE SAVED BY SOMEONE SO REVILED?
TPH*L>> JAIME:
OH THE TWO OF US ARE EACH BEYOND COMPARE.
TPH*L>> JAIME AND BRIENNE:
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR.
TPH*L>> TPH*L>>BRAN STARK::
FASTER, HODOR. 
WE MUST REACH MY BROTHER JON SNOW AT THE WALL BEFORE THE LANNISTERS REALIZE I'M STILL ALIVE.
TPH*L>> HODOR:
HODOR?
TPH*L>> TPH*L>>BRAN STARK::
THE FARTHER NORTH WE GO, THE STRONGER MY VISIONS GET.
TPH*L>> HODOR:
HODOR.
TPH*L>> BRAN:
I CANNOT WALK.
TPH*L>> HODOR:
HODOR HODOR.
TPH*L>> BRAN:
WE'RE BEING CHASED.
TPH*L>> HODOR:
HODOR, HODOR.
TPH*L>> BRAN:
TO CONTROL THE MINDS OF ANIMALS IS RARE,
WHEN MY EYES GO WHITE, I'M SOARING THROUGH THE AIR.
TPH*L>> HODOR:
HODOR, HODOR, HODOR, HODOR, HODOR HODOR!
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO SIMPLY CO-EXIST?
TPH*L>> ARYA:
IT'S A SHAME YOUR NAME'S ALREADY ON MY LIST!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
QUIET. 
NO WHISTLING.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
HEY!
THIS IS THE ONE WHO KIDNAPPED ME, GUYS.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
IT WAS ONLY AN ACT, I'M ONE OF YOU!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
LIES!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I'VE GOT LOTS OF JUICY CROW INTEL TO SHARE!
AND I SPARED YOUR LIFE, REMEMBER?
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
I'M AWARE.
WILDLINGS
WE DON'T CARE!
JON SNOW AND YGRITTE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR!
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
YOU ARE IMMORAL, I HAVE A CODE.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
I FIGHT WITH HONOR.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
OH, WHAT A LOAD!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
I'VE RETURNED TO SAVE YOU FROM THIS GRIZZLY BEAR.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
THANK YOU.
JAIME AND BRIENNE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
YOU'RE NOT SO BAD.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
NEITHER ARE YOU.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
LET US REVIEW,
IT'S A SIMPLE TRICK TO KEEP THE BUDGET LOW:
TPH*L>> JAIME:
YOU SELECT TWO RANDOM FOLKS AND OFF THEY GO!
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
THOUGH THE GAP BETWEEN US MAY BE FAR AND WIDE,
TPH*L>> JAIME:
WE HAVE LEARNED TO PUT OUR DIFF'RENCES ASIDE.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
THERE IS NOTHING MUCH IN COMMON THAT WE SHARE.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
WE'RE AN EQUAL MATCH IN TERMS OF BODY HAIR. 
BUT OTHERWISE.
JAIME AND BRIENNE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE UNLIKELY PAIR!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
THE TABLES HAVE TURNED, JON SNOW. 

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE MY PRISONER?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I TOLD YOU, JUST LIKE I TOLD THEM. 
I WANT TO JOIN THE FREE FOLK. 
REALLY.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
YEP, YOU'RE STILL BORING. 
EVEN WHEN YOU'RE LYING.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I MEAN IT, I'VE SWITCHED SIDES.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
ONCE YOU'VE LED US TO CASTLE BLACK, MAYBE I'LL BELIEVE YOU.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THEN JUST FOLLOW ME. I KNOW THE WAY.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT?
YGRITTE
IT'S SORT OF MY CATCH PHRASE. KIND OF LIKE HOW THE LANNISTERS HAVE: "A LANNISTER ALWAYS PAYS HIS DEBTS," OR THE STARKS HAVE:  "WINTER IS COMING," OR HODOR HAS "HODOR." MINE IS,  "YOU KNOW NOTHING, TPH*L>> JON SNOW:."
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WELL IT'S ANNOYING.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK. 
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW. 
TRUST THIS WILDLING SCOUT.
THERE'S A REASON THAT I KEEP TEASIN' YOU CAN'T YOU FIGURE IT OUT?
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW. 
SO MUCH FUN TO REPEAT.
WHAT BEGAN AS HATE, TOOK A TWIST OF FATE
GIVE YOUR HEART TO YGRITTE.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
I KEEP SAYING IT
BUT YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
"YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW.
MEANS "I LOVE YOU."
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GIANT BEFORE, JON SNOW?
SAY "HELLO," DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND GAWK.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
HELLO!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WARG BEFORE, JON SNOW?
HE CONTROLS THE MINDS OF CREATURES LIKE THAT HAWK!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
OH I SEE!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW.
CROW, YOU'RE SO DAMNED NAIVE.
SINCE YOU BROKE YOUR VOW, YOU CAN TAKE ME NOW,
TRUST YOUR HEART AND BELIEVE.
MUST I SPELL IT OUT
AFTER ALL THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH?
"YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW,"
MEANS "I LOVE YOU."
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:  YGRITTE, I FEEL MY HEART BEAT,
I AM GLOWING FROM YOUR HEAT.
I RENOUNCE MY VOW TO THE BROTHERHOOD,
I DETEST THE CROWS, LIKE A WILDING WOULD.
I WILL HELP YOU AMBUSH MY COMRADES!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
GOOD!
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A NICE PAIR OF TITS, JON SNOW? 
HAVE YOU SEEN A PAIR AS PERFECT AS THESE?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
NO!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FLAMING FIRE BUSH, JON SNOW?
HURRY UP NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES.
ARE YOU LOYAL, JON SNOW?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I AM LOYAL, YGRITTE.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
IS THIS ALL JUST FOR SHOW?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I AM READY TO EAT.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
IF IT'S US YOU CHOSE, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I'M ABLE AND WILLING.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
PROVE THAT YOU'RE NOT A.  
OHHH.
OHHHHHHH.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW & YGRITTE:
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHH.
AHH.
AHH.
AHHHHHHH.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHH.
AHH.
AHH.
AHHHHHHH.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
I KNOW YOU'RE STILL A CROW, AS FOREVER YOU'LL BE,
KEEP ON SMILING, I'LL BE YOUR WILDLING, JUST BE LOYAL TO ME.
WE RETURN TO THE WALL.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I WILL DO MY PART!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
HELP US TAKE CASTLE BLACK.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YOU HAVE WON MY HEART.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
TELL US HOW MANY MEN ARE WAITING
AND WHEN IS BEST TO ATTACK.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I WILL TRY.
TPH*L>> WARG:
YGRITTE, WOULD'VE BEEN MINE IF NOT FOR YOUR LIES, CROW. 
PROVE YOUR LOYALTY TO MANCE RAYDER BY SLITTING THIS OTHER CROW'S THROAT!
TRAITOR!!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE: YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW: 
YGRITTE, I HAVE TO GO! 
I MUST MAKE MY WAY BACK TO CASTLE BLACK, WARN MY BRUTHERS OF THIS SURPRISE ATTACK!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY YOU BETRAYED, YGRITTE, YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY!
NOW I WONDER WAS IT EVER EVEN TRUE? 
"YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW,
MEANS I LOVE YOU.

[WEDDING BELLS]TPH*
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
WE GATHER HERE TODAY TO CELEBRATE THE RED WEDDING OF.
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
EXCUSE ME, WE GATHER HERE TODAY TO CELEBRATE THE PERFECTLY ORDINARY WEDDING OF ROBB STARK'S UNCLE EDMURE TULLY, TO ONE OF MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS. WHICH DAUGHTER REALLY DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT?
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
AND WITH THIS UNION, LET US SET ASIDE ANY BAD BLOOD CREATED WHEN MY SON ROBB BROKE HIS WORD AND HIMSELF REFUSED TO MARRY ONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS.
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
YES, LET US MEND OUR HOUSES, LORD FREY.
CATELYN STARK
I KNOW THIS MUSIC. 
WHO REQUESTED THIS?
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
BAND LEADER, I HAVE SOMETHING MORE APPROPRIATE IN MIND!
I AM PROUD TO TAKE MY FATHER'S PLACE,
I STAND FOR ALL THAT'S GOOD.
WHEN YOU'RE FEELING LOST,
I LEAD YOU THROUGH THE DARK.
CATELYN STARK DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF, YOU CANNOT FAIL, AS IF MY FIRST BORN COULD! FOR THE HERO OF OUR STORY IS ROBB STARK.
TPH*L>> TALISA:
ROBB, I'VE DECIDED, WE ARE GOING TO NAME THE BABY "NED," AFTER YOUR LATE FATHER!
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
LORD FREY, WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?
TPH*L>>WALDER FREY:
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO BOY-KINGS WHO DO NOT KEEP THEIR WORD!
TPH*L>> ROOSE BOLTON:
THE LANNISTERS SAY, 'SO LONG, FAREWELL, ALVERDERZANE GOOD-BYE.'
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
MUTHER, AFTER FATHER DIED, I WAS THE HERO OF THIS STORY, WAS I NOT? 
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
I DON'T KNOW, MY SWEET SON. 
I DON'T KNOW.
EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE FINE.
A MARRIAGE, A LOVELY RECEPTION.
IS THIS THE END OF OUR LINE?
THE VICTIMS OF HEARTLESS DECEPTION.
AS FOR THE CULPRITS, I CAN THINK OF A FEW:
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
THE LANNISTERS?
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
NO!
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
THE BOLTONS?
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
NO!
TPH*L>>ROBB STARK:
THEN WHO?
CATELYN STARK GEORGE RR, DO YOU REALIZE HOW SICK YOU ARE?
GEORGE RR, THIS TIME YOU REALLY MAY HAVE GONE TOO FAR.
YOU BUTCHERED MY FIRST BORN, HOW COULD YOU?
YOUR DARK SIDE IS RUNNING AMOK.
GEORGE RR, YOU HAVE JUST CROSSED THE LINE,
YOU ARE ONE SICK FUCK.
GEORGE RR, ARE YOU FRIGGIN' INSANE?
HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN THIS BLOODBATH!
TPH*L>> TPH*L>>ROBB STARK::STABBING MY PREGNANT WIFE IN THE BELLY,
OVER AND OVER AGAIN, YOU CAN TELL HE'S MAD!
TPH*L>> CHORUS:
GEORGE RR, THIS TIME YOU'VE REALLY GONE AND RAISED THE BAR. 
POOR ROBB STARK AND HIS MOTHER, BID THEM AU REVOIR.
NO ONE COULD SEE THAT THIS WAS COMING,
A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL WAS STRUCK.
NOT THE DEVIL OF COURSE, IT WAS GEORGE, YOU ARE ONE SICK FUCK!
GEORGE RR, YOU'RE COMPLETELY AT FAULT, WE TASTED THE SALT AND YOU KILLED US.
CATELYN STARK CHOPPING US UP INTO NICE LITTLE PIECES, HOPE THAT OUR BLOOD IS ENOUGH TO APPEASE YOUR LUST!
ROBB DIES.
TPH*L>> CATELYN STARK:
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
TPH*L>> CHORUS”
GEORGE RR, ARE THE LANNISTERS TO WIN THIS WAR?
WE'VE SEEN GORE, BUT NEVER ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE! WHO'LL BE AVENGING POOR NED NOW? OUR HEROES ARE PISS OUT OF LUCK.
GEORGE RR, YOU JUST KILLED OFF THE STAR,
YOUR TASTES ARE DISTURBED AND BIZARRE.
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE?
CATELYN STARK YOU ARE ONE SICK FUCK!
TPH*L>> CHORUS”
ONE SICK FUCK!
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
I HAVE RETURNED YOU SAFELY TO KING'S LANDING, AND THUS HAVE I KEPT MY VOW TO CATELYN STARK.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
WELL, THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE, AND STUFF.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE”
RIGHT.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ALREADY, ARE YOU?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
MY WORK IS NOT YET FINISHED. I MUST FIND.
SANSA AND ARYA TO FULFILL MY ENTIRE OATH.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
RIGHT, RIGHT.
WELL, SEE YOU AROUND BIGFOOT.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE;
IT WAS A PLEASURE TO KNOW YOU GIMP.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WHO IS THIS CREATURE!
TPH*L>> JAIME”
SISTER! 
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY, UH, "ESCORT," BRIENNE OF TARTH.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
NOT HER. 
I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU!
JAIME
"CREATURE"?
I'M THE SAME MAN YOU'VE LOVED YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
JAIME
...AS A BROTHER!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? LEAVE US!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
THERE'S NO NEED TO BE RUDE, SISTER.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
I'M AFRAID I INCEST! I MEAN "INSIST"!
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
VERY WELL, YOUR GRACE.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
AT LAST. SOME PRIVACY.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
BECAUSE WE ARE SIBLINGS? 
YOU ONCE FOUND ME HANDSOME.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
AND NOW I FIND YOU HANDLESS!
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
THUS, HAVE I VANQUISHED MY ENEMIES!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WHAT NEWS DO YOU BRING, MY KING?
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
THE USURPER ROBB STARK HAS FALLEN, ALONG WITH HIS MOTHER CATELYN STARK.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
WITH STANNIS BEATEN AS WELL, THERE IS NO ONE LEFT TO OPPOSE ME. 
AND TODAY I MARRY THE BEAUTIFUL MARGAERY TYRELL. 
I HAVE WON THE GAME OF THRONES! 
IN CELEBRATION, I HAVE WRITTEN A NEW SONG TO COMMEMORATE THE OCCASION.
TPH*L>> KING JOFFREY:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
OF COURSE, KING JOFFREY. 
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
ISN'T THE KING TALENTED?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I THINK SOMETHING MAY BE WRONG...
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
DO NOT INTERRUPT THE KING'S WEDDING SONG AGAIN!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
THE BIG FINISH, NO DOUBT.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
AN EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE, MY KING.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
KING JOFFREY, IS SOMETHING WRONG?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
NO! JOFFREY?! 
NOOOOOO!!!
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
THE KING IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE NEW KING, TOMMEN BARATHEON!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
TYRION IS TO BLAME FOR THIS!
TPH*L>> TYRION:  WHAT?!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
SEIZE HIM! 
SEIZE HIM AT ONCE!!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS QUEEN MARGAERY'S GRANDMOTHER, OLENNA TYRELL!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
WHO?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
OH THAT'S RIGHT, SHE ISN'T IN THE SHOW. 
FUCK!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
ORDER! 
THE COURT WILL HAVE ORDER! 
YOU MAY CONTINUE, DAUGHTER.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
AND THEN MY BROTHER TYRION LAUGHED ALOUD AND TOLD ME, "ONE DAY I WILL POISON JOFFREY AT HIS OWN WEDDING, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME." 
AND THEN HE DANCED THE MERRY DANCE OF HIS PEOPLE!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
"DANCED THE MERRY DANCE OF MY PEOPLE"? 
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
ORDER.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
CERSEI, YOU MAY STEP DOWN.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING TRIAL SINCE THE FINALE OF SEINFELD.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
THE COURT CALLS TO THE STAND SHAE, THE PROSTITUTE.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
OH NO.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
WHAT SAY YOU, PROSTITUTE?
TPH*L>> SHAE:
THAT DISGUSTING DWARF IS THE ONE WHO POISONED THE KING!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
NO.
TPH*L>> SHAE:
I WAS NEVER HIS AND HE WAS NEVER MINE. 
OUR TRAGIC LOVE AFFAIR WAS NOTHING BUT LIES!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
ENOUGH!
I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. 
TPH*L>> TYWIN:L
THE COURT DOES NOT RECOGNIZE HIP HOP AS A FORM OF MUSIC.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
FATHER, I WISH TO CONFESS.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
TO CONFESS?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
YES, IT'S THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS MESS. 
I AM GUILTY, YOU SEE.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
OF KILLING THE KING?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
NO, THAT WASN'T ME.
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
THEN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I'M GUILTY OF BEING A DWARF,  I ADMIT!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
THAT IS NOT WHY WE'RE HERE.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I DON'T BUY THAT ONE BIT!
THE COURT WORST DWARF EVER, WORST DWARF EVER!
THE WORST DWARF EVER!
THE COURT WORST DWARF EVER, WORST DWARF EVER!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
THE WORST DWARF EVER.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
SELLING YOUR STORY WITH LIES FROM A WHORE,
SHE WAS DEAR TO ME ONCE, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE.
YES SHAE, I SENT YOU AWAY,
WHEN YOU WANTED TO STAY,
NOW THIS SORRY DISPLAY,
TELLING TALES OF FOUL PLAY?
DID THEY PAY YOU OR DID YOU LIE DOWN AND OBEY?
AND CERSEI, DEAR SISTER,
AT LONG LAST YOU HAVE YOUR EXCUSE,
TO PUT MY NECK IN A NOOSE,
IT WOULD SEEM THAT I'VE FINALLY
OUTLIVED MY USE.
THERE'S BLOOD IN THE BRONCO,
AND I AM THE JUICE!
WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR SON
IT WASN'T MY POISON.
THOUGH WHO COULD BLAME SOMEONE FOR WANTING IT DONE!
THE COURT WORST DWARF EVER, WORST DWARF EVER!
THE WORST DWARF EVER!
THE COURT WORST DWARF EVER, WORST DWARF EVER!
TPH*L>> TYRION: THE WORST DWARF EVER!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
HAVE YOU ANYTHING ELSE OF IMPORTANCE TO ADD?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I DID NOT KILL THE KING,
BUT I WISH THAT I HAD.
I SAVED THE WHOLE CITY,
THIS IS HOW I'M REPAID!?
TPH*L>> TWYIN:
NO PARADE, I'M AFRAID.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
INSTEAD, I'M BETRAYED!
WERE I ONLY THE MONSTER,
YOU WANT ME TO BE,
I WOULD POISON YOU ALL!
TPH*L>> TYWIN:
SO THEN WHAT DO YOU PLEA!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I'LL FIND NO JUSTICE HERE,
I AM CERTAIN OF THAT! 
AND SO I DEMAND
A TRIAL BY COMBAT!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WE ACCEPT YOUR DEMAND. 
TO REPRESENT THE COURT IN BATTLE,  
I CHOOSE THE MOUNTAIN!
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
I REMEMBERED YOU AS BEING TALLER.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
AND WHO HERE WILL BE MY CHAMPION? 
ANYONE?! 
TPH*L>> PRINCE OBERYN:
I WILL BE YOUR CHAMPION! 
I WILL BE YOUR CHAMPION!
YOU RAPED MY SISTER AND YOU MURDERED HER,   IT'S TRUE!
AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND KILL HER CHILDREN TOO!
PRINCE OBERYN I WILL BE YOUR CHAMPION!
I WILL BE YOUR.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
THE GODS HAVE SPOKEN, BROTHER. 
YOU ARE TO BE EXECUTED.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
THERE'S A BIG FUCKING SURPRISE. 
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
STATE YOUR REQUEST, CITIZEN OF MEEREEN.
TPH*L>> FARMER:
KHALEESI, YOUR DRAGONS.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
MY DRAGONS.
WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
OH, THERE YOU ARE. YOU WERE SAYING?
TPH*L>> FARMER:
YOUR DRAGONS, THEY BURN MY LIVESTOCK, AND MY DAUGHTER. 
SHE WAS BUT A CHILD.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
HOW MANY MORE ARE THERE?
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
AT LAST COUNT, 356.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
356?
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF MEEREEN NOW, KHALEESI.
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, AND THEY ALL WISH TO BE HEARD.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
VERY WELL, SEE THAT THIS MAN IS COMPENSATED FOR HIS GOATS. 
NEXT!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
STATE YOUR REQUEST.
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
KHALEESI, MY NAME IS LORD PETER BAYLISH, OFTEN REFERRED TO AS LITTLE FINGER:
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
LITTLE FINGER, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS SCENE. 
IN FACT, YOU ARE NOT IN THIS PRODUCTION. 
NEXT!
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
NO, MY LADY. YOU WILL HEAR ME OUT, FOR I AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU KNOW.
YOU, KHALEESI, TYRION, SANSA AND JON SNOW, HOGGING ALL THE GLORY,
WHILE I'M NOT EVEN IN THE SHOW.
IT'S TRUE,   
TO TELL THIS EPIC TALE, YOU MUST EDIT AND CONDENSE.
BUT TO LEAVE ME OUT ENTIRELY,
JUST DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE.
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
LITTLE FINGER. 
ALL OF THIS WAS MY PLAN.
I STARTED THIS WHOLE THING
WHEN I KILLED THE HAND OF THE KING.
SO EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO JUST ONE MAN.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
THEON GREYJOY
WHAT ABOUT ME? THEON GREYJOY.
HOW COULD YOU CUT MY PART?
I'D WAGER THERE ARE SOME
WHO'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT I'VE BECOME.
MY STORY ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER!
THIS MUCH SHIT WILL NOT FIT. 
IN A 90-MINUTE SHOW.
YES, THERE'S TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER.
WHEN IN DOUBT WE LEAVE YOU OUT
OR THE PACE WILL BE TOO SLOW.
TPH*L>> MELISANDRE:
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
THE RED WOMAN. 
FAIREST IN ALL THE LAND.
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
WHAT ABOUT HIM? 
LORD STANNIS.
HE DID THIS TO MY HAND!
PRINCESS SHIREEN
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
PRINCESS SHIREEN.
WHY CAN I NOT PARTAKE?
DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR ME SCREAM,
WHEN THEY BURN ME AT THE STAKE?
TPH*L>> VARYS:
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
VARYS THE SPIDER. 
DOING WHAT'S BEST FOR THE REALM.
ENSURING THAT SOMEONE QUALIFIED
WILL BE TAKING HER PLACE AT THE HELM.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER, TOO MUCH STUFF, NOT ENOUGH
TIME TO GIVE YOU ALL YOUR DUE.
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER,
WE HAVE SEVERAL OTHER CHARACTERS MORE PIVOTAL THAN YOU,
SO AWAY WITH YOU NOW, SHOO!
TPH*L>> LYSA STARK:
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
LYSA STARK. BITTER FOREVER MORE.
CATELYN GETS TO BE IN THE SHOW, BUT LYSA? SORRY, NO!
YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST PUSH ME THROUGH THE MOON DOOR!
TPH*L>> GENDRY:
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
GENDRY. 
KING ROBERT'S BASTARD SON.
SAND SNAKES WHAT ABOUT US? 
THE DEADLY SAND SNAKES?
WE'LL KILL ANY MAN FOR FUN.
GREY WORM WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?
WHOSE SERVICE IS DEVOUT.
THIS ONE NOT NEED BALLS AND PENIS
AS MISSANDEI WILL FIND OUT.
THE HIGH SPARROW
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
THE HIGH SPARROW. 
THIS SHOW IS INCOMPLETE. WITHOUT ME YOU WON'T SEE CERSEI WALKING NAKED DOWN THE STREET.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER,
YOU COMPLAIN BUT IT'S A STRAIN
TO PUT IN EVERY SINGLE BEAT.
YES, THERE'S TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER,
TRIM THE FAT, THAT IS THAT,
NOW WE FOCUS ON THE MEAT.
TPH*L>> EVERYONE:
WHERE HAVE WE BEEN? 
YOU HAVE TO PUT US IN. TO WASTE US IS A SIN.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI: YOUR OBJECTIONS HAVE BEEN NOTED BUT THIS SHOW IS WAY TOO BLOATED,
YOU CAN BLAME THE MAN WHO WROTE IT!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATERIAL TO COVER!
EVERYONE WHAT ABOUT ME? 
WHAT ABOUT ME? 
WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEE!???
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
PREPARE YOURSELVES, BRUTHERS! 
I BRING URGENT NEWS!!
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:  JON SNOW, IS THAT YOU?
WHERE IN THE FIVE KINGDOMS HAVE YOU BEEN?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
SAM, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN. 
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.
I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
REALLY? 
CONGRATULATIONS, JON. 
AS IT HAPPENS, SO DO I.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHAT?
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
HER NAME IS GILLY. 
SHE'S VERY NICE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YOU MEAN, YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE I DID?
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
I SUPPOSE SO.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
AND THAT MEANS?
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
YOU'RE STILL BORING. 
JON, ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T BRING ANY OTHER URGENT NEWS?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
OH YES!  
100,000 WILDLINGS MARCH ON THE WALL!!
TPH*L>> RANDOM CROW:
100,000 HE SAYS!? 
WE'VE NO CHANCE AGAINST SUCH A FORCE!
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
WELL, I WOULDN'T WORRY. IF THEY DO SO SHOW UP, THEY'RE LIKELY TO COME IN WAVES OF TWO OR THREE MEN AT THE MOST.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
OOH, THAT MUST BE THEM. EXCITING. 
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THEY ARE UPON US!
LOOK OUT, THERE'S MORE OF THEM!
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
LEAVE THE TRAITOROUS BASTARD JON SNOW TO ME!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YGRITTE!
THANK YOU, OLLIE! 
LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YOU'RE THE ONE I WOULD SAVE.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
GUESS I'LL BE ON MY WAY.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I'LL REMEMBER THE CAVE.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE:
IT'S A SHAME THAT WE WEREN'T MEANT TO BE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WISH WE HAD ONE MORE DAY.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE: I WILL TELL YOU NOW.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YGRITTE, I ALWAYS KNEW.
TPH*L>> YGRITTE AND JON SNOW:
"YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW.
"MEANS "I LOVE YOU."
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
SIR, MIGHT I HAVE A WORD?
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
YOU'RE BIG FOR A WOMAN.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
YES. 
THAT GIRL YOU'RE TRAVELING WITH. 
MIGHT I INQUIRE AS TO HER NAME?
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
MIGHT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF?
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
GIRL, YOU COULD COME WITH ME IF YOU LIKE.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
SHE'S NOT INTERESTED.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
WHY DON'T YOU LET HER SPEAK FOR HERSELF?
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
ENOUGH TALKING.
TPH*L>> BRIENNE:
VERY WELL.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
MAY THE BEST MAN WIN.
[BRIENNE SCREAMS]TPH*
TPH*L>> BRIENNE: 
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE. 
THROUGH THE HEART LIKE I SHOWED YOU. 
KILL ME.
TPH*L>> THE HOUND:
KILL ME.
KILL ME!!!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
HELP! 
AUNT LYSSA? 
IS ANYONE HOME??
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
MY LADY SANSA.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
LORD BAYLISH, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T IN THE SHOW. 
YOU WERE IN THAT SONG.
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER: "WHAT ABOUT ME?"
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YES!
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT ME, LADY SANSA. 
I DON'T PLAY BY THE RULES; I MAKE THE RULES. 
IN FACT, I HAVE ORCHESTRATED THIS ENTIRE SHOW BY MYSELF.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
ORCHESTRATED?
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
YES.
THAT IS WHY ALL THE MUSIC IS PRERECORDED. 
TO SAVE MONEY FOR THE PRODUCTION. 
DO NOT FORGET, I USED TO BE MASTER OF COIN.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
BUT WHY ARE YOU HERE, AT MY AUNT'S CASTLE?
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
I WAS THE ONE WHO ARRANGED JOFFREY'S DEATH, AND FRAMED YOUR HUSBAND TYRION FOR HIS MURDER. THEREFORE, I AM YOUR CARETAKER NOW.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
SO NOW IT'S YOUR TURN? 
GO AHEAD, DO YOUR WORST, LORD BAYLISH. 
WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME NOW, IT CAN'T BE AS BAD AS WHEN I WAS JOFFREY'S PRISONER.
[DOORBELL RINGS]TPH*
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
LADY SANSA.
MAY I PRESENT YOUR NEW HUSBAND, RAMSAY BOLTON!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
BROTHER? 
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
TPH*L>> JAIME:
I MAY BE A MURDERING,  
INCESTUOUS RAPIST, BUT I STILL KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG! VARYS HAS ARRANGED A SHIP FOR YOU. 
YOU'RE SAILING EAST, TO ESSOS.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
NOW GO. 
AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT STOP BY FATHER'S ROOM!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
"WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT STOP BY FATHER'S ROOM. FATHER'S ROOM. 
ROOM... ROOM..."
TPH*L>> SHAE:
COME BACK TO BED, MY LION!
YOU ARE NOT TYWIN!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
NO, I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT TYWIN.
TPH*L>> SHAE:
HOW YOU DID YOU GET IN HERE. 
YOU WERE TO BE EXECUTED, MY TURNIP!
TYWIN LANNISTER THESE CHILDREN OF MINE
THEY AIM TO DISPLEASE. 
FLUSHING AWAY THEIR DESTINIES.
EMBARRASSING ME, IT COMES TO THEM WITH EASE.
TPH*L>> TYWIN LANNISTER: CHILDREN MUST MAKE IT THEIR DUTY
TO DO THEIR FATHER PROUD.
THE DWARF IS OUT CHASING PROSTITUTES,
WHEN I TELL HIM HE ISN'T ALLOWED.
CHILDREN MUST MAKE IT THEIR DUTY TO LIVE UP TO THE STANDARDS WE SET, JAIME, WON'T GO BACK TO CASTERLY ROCK, AND CERSEI, ANOTHER REGRET.
HOW CAN THIS FAMILY FORGE AHEAD,
CAN THIS SCANDALOUS REPUTATION BE SHED?
OR WILL OUR LEGACY BE INSTEAD
THAT OF BROTHER AND SISTER SHARING A BED?
CHILDREN MUST MAKE IT THEIR DUTY
TO BEHAVE IN A SENSIBLE MANNER
NOT TO CAST A REFLECTION OF WANTON PERVERSION
AND SPLATTER THE FAMILY BANNER.
CHILDREN MUST MAKE IT THEIR DUTY
TO CLEAN UP AFTER THEIR MESSES.
UNTIL SOMEONE'S FATHERED A LANNISTER CHILD THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE MEANING OF STRESS IS.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
HELLO, FATHER!
TPH*L>> TYWIN LANNISTER:
CHILDREN MUST MAKE IT THEIR DUTY
TO BE A GOOD SON LIKE TYRION.
WHEN IT COMES MAKING YOUR FATHER PROUD,
BEING SHORT IS THE ONLY CRITERION.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
ENOUGH!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I KNOW I AM A STAIN UPON YOUR HOUSE, AND YOU DESPISE ME BECAUSE I KILLED MY MOTHER WHEN SHE BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WRETCHED WORLD.
TPH*L>> TYWIN LANNISTER:
ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL. 
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY, I VISITED THE CIRCUS, WHERE I WAS MOLESTED BY DWARF.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
REALLY?
TPH*L>> TYWIN LANNISTER:
OF COURSE NOT, YOU FOOL. 
YOU ALWAYS WERE A GULLIBLE LITTLE SHIT. NO WONDER YOU THOUGHT THAT WHORE WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU.
TPH*L>> TYWIN LANNISTER:
YOU SHOT ME.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
DID YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST STAND HERE AND SHOOT THE SHIT?
TPH*L>> TYWIN LANNISTER:
YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT TAKES TO LEAD. I WAS ONLY DOING MY DUTY!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
FATHER, HERE ENDETH YOUR DUTY.
TORMUND
TRAITOR!
YOU MAY HAVE KILLED YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND AND BESTED THE WILDLINGS ON THIS DAY, JON SNOW, BUT WE'LL BE BACK! 
WE'LL NEVER STOP FIGHTING TO RECLAIM WHAT YOU CALL THE NORTH.
YOU CROW BASTARD!!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YOU'RE RIGHT, TORMUND.
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
I AM?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I'VE BEEN THINKING. MAYBE THE WILDLINGS AREN'T SO BAD?
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
WE AREN'T?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WE SHOULD BE WORKING TOGETHER WITH THE WILDINGS TO FIGHT OUR COMMON ENEMY.
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
THE MEXICANS?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHO?
TPH*L>> RANDOM SHOUT:
ISN'T THAT WHY WE BUILT THE WALL?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WHITE WALKERS AND THEIR ARMY OF THE UNDEAD. 
THEY'RE THE REAL THREAT.
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
BEST NOT LET YOUR BRUTHERS HEAR TALK LIKE THAT, MY FRIEND.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THEY'LL COME AROUND.
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
THEN COME, LET US CONVINCE THE REST OF THE WILDLINGS TO JOIN OUR CAUSE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
HARDHOME. 
IN FACT, HERE WE ARE. 
WELCOME TO HARDHOME! 
HARDHOME.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WE'RE HERE ALREADY? 
THAT WAS FAST.
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
THIS? 
FAST? 
WAIT TILL YOU SEE SEASON 7.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHAT?
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
WILDLING BROTHERS! 
THIS IS MY FRIEND JON SNOW! 
HE AND I WISH TO UNITE THE CROWS AND WILDLINGS.
[BOOS SOUND FROM THE CROWD]TPH*
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
NO, SERIOUSLY. 
THIS IS A REALLY GREAT IDEA!
[THUD, THUD]TPH*
TPH*L>> TORMUND :
WHAT IS THAT?
[THE THUDDING ESCALATES]TPH*
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THE ARMY OF THE UNDEAD. 
THEY'VE COME FOR US.
TPH*L>> RANDOM SHOUT:
FAKE NEWS!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
NO! 
THE WHITE WALKERS ARE REAL!
TPH*L>> RANDOM SHOUT:
HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN HEARING ABOUT THIS?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
IF YOU BELIEVE IN DRAGONS, GIANTS AND WARLOCKS, THEN WHY NOT ZOMBIES?
TPH*L>> RANDOM CROW:
THOSE OTHER THINGS ARE ALIVE!
TPH*L>> RANDOM SHOUT:
IT'S SHIT, I SAY!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME!?
TPH*L>> RICK GRIMES:
I DO!
THE NAME'S RICK GRIMES. 
NO TIME FOR TALK. 
THIS PLACE IS SURROUNDED BY WALKERS.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
YOU MEAN WHITE WALKERS?!
TPH*L>> RICK GRIMES:
WHITE, BLACK, BROWN, YOU NAME IT. 
LOOK OUT, HERE THEY COME!
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZOMBIES?
DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY YOU'VE KILLED.
JUST WHEN YOU THINK THERE'S NO MORE OF THEM LEFT,
TA-DA!  
THE SUPPLY'S BEEN REFILLED!
ZOMBIE HORSES, ZOMBIE MEN,
LINING UP TO DIE AGAIN.
CAN WE PUT A KABOSH ON THEM PLEASE!
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZO-OM-BIES?
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZOMBIES? 
AND THEIR RANDOM ZOMBIE ATTACKS.
SWARMING AROUND YOU,
THEY GROPE YOU, THEY HOUND YOU
THERE'S NEVER A CHANCE TO RELAX!
FOLLOW ME NOW, THROUGH THE SNOW!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHO'S THIS ASSHOLE?
TPH*L>> TORMUND:
I DON'T KNOW.
TPH*L>>RICK GRIMES:
THE CALM IN THE AIR'S JUST A TEASE. 
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZO-OM-BIES!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WINTER IS COMING, IT'S OVERDUE.
AN ARMY OF DEAD MEN, WITH EYES OF BLUE.
SO HERE'S THE GRAND REVEAL, I GUESS THE MYTH IS REAL, AND ALL I HAVE'S A BLADE OF PURE VALERIAN STEEL.
I'VE DONE IT! I'VE MADE A WHITE WALKER EXPLODE!
TPH*L>>RICK GRIMES:
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZOMBIES?
HOW DO YOU KILL A CLICHE?
LOOKING TO HURT YOU, THEY'LL EAT YOU,   CONVERT YOU,
COME ON, JOIN THE WALKING BUFFET!
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZOMBIES? 
MOANING THEIR WAY DOWN THE STREET.
PICK UP A SHOTGUN AND AIM FOR THE BRAIN,
PULL THE TRIGGER, RELOAD AND REPEAT.
A SINGLE BITE, AND THAT'S THE END, YOU'VE FALLEN VICTIM TO THE TREND.
TPH*L>>RICK GRIMES:
PRETTY POPULAR FOR A DISEASE.
THOUGH WE KILL THEM WITH RELATIVE EASE,
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ZO-OM-BIES!? 
WINTERFELL.
TPH*L>> RAMSAY:
WELL, MY DEAR SANSA, WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU AS
WELL?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
IT ISN'T FAIR, LORD BOLTON. 
I FINALLY GET AWAY FROM JOFFREY AND IT'S LIKE YOU'RE THE SAME EXACT PERSON.
TPH*L>> RAMSAY:
I ASSURE YOU, MY DEAR SANSA, I AM NOTHING LIKE THE LATE COWARD KING JOFFREY. 
I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU RIGHT NOW, AS I BRAVELY RIDE OUT TO DEFEAT STANNIS' ARMY.
TPH*L>> RAMSAY:
BUT REMEMBER, IF YOU ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE WHILE I'M GONE, MY DOGS WILL TEAR YOU INTO TINY PIECES.
TPH*L>> RAMSAY:
WAIT FOR ME UNTIL I RETURN?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
THEON?! 
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T IN THIS SHOW EITHER!
TPH*L>> THEON GREYJOY:
THEON ISN'T, BUT R-R-REEK IS! 
COME, M'LADY. 
WE MUST ESCAPE.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
BE CAREFUL! 
IT'S A THREE-HUNDRED FOOT DROP FROM THE TOP OF THE WALL!
TPH*L>> THEON GREYJOY:
YES, B-B-BUT WE MUST JUMP.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
JUMP?!
TPH*L>> THEON GREYJOY:
DON'T WORRY, M'LADY. 
THE SNOW WILL B-B-BREAK OUR FALL.
TPH*L>> SANSA: 
OKAY!
TPH*L>> UNCLE BENJEN:
SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: 
RICK FROM THE WALKING DEAD GETS HIS OWN SONG, BUT THERE'S STILL NO TIME FOR ME, UNCLE BENJEN?!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
SILENCE! 
WE HAVE MORE PRESSING ISSUES SUCH AS THE TRAITOR AMONG US!
TPH*L>> JORAH:
I AM SORRY, KHALEESI. 
PLEASE FORGIVE ME. 
I HAVE SEEN THE ERROR OF MY WAYS.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
YOU WERE A SPY FOR KING'S LANDING. 
I CAN NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN, JORAH.
TPH*L>> JORAH:
BUT I LOVE YOU.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
DO NOT MAKE ME SICK. 
BE GONE FROM MY LANDS AND NEVER RETURN, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
KHALEESI, HOW WILL WE GO ON WITHOUT THE WISE COUNCIL OF SER JORAH?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
MISSANDEI, HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD, A KHALEESI ON HER PATH.
SOON THE WEST WILL FEEL MY WRATH FOR SENDING SPIES. I'VE NO NEED FOR JORAH'S LIES
AS MY VICTORY IS ALL BUT GUARANTEED!
TPH*L>> FACELESS MAN:
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD IS A GIRL WHO HAS NO NAME.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
AND THE PEOPLE WHOM SHE BLAMES SHALL MEET THEIR DOOM,
TPH*L>> FACELESS MAN:
HERE IN BRAVOS WATCH HER BLOOM.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
FROM NOW ON,
TPH*L>> FACELESS MAN:
VALAR MORGHULIS.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
IS HER CREED!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
I'VE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK AGAIN,
ABUSED BY AWFUL MEN,
I REMEMBER RAMSAY'S TOUCH.
BUT STILL, I'VE LEARNED SO MUCH.
AND THE RAGE I'VE BEEN CONCEALING SHALL BE FREED.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD,
WITH HER CHILDREN DEAD, ALL THREE.
SO KHALEESI COME TO ME, I HAVE NO FEAR.
AND THE DRAGONS YOU HOLD DEAR,
FLY THEM CLOSER, LET US FIND OUT IF THEY BLEED. A STRONG FEMALE IS WHAT WE NEED.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD IS WHAT WE NEED!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
A STRONG FEMALE LEAD.
TPH*L>> TYRION: THE BEST DWARF EVER!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IS WHAT.
TPH*L>> TYRION: THE BEST DWARF EVER!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I BEG YOUR PARDON, MY LADY.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
SER JORAH! 
I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SET FOOT IN THIS CITY AGAIN, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!
TPH*L>> JORAH:
BUT I HAVE BROUGHT YOU A GIFT, KHALEESI. 
THESE TWO DROIDS! 
I MEAN, TYRION LANNISTER.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
YES, I AM FAMILIAR WITH THIS DWARF.
THE LANNISTERS ARE MY ENEMIES. 
TELL ME, WHY SHOULD I NOT KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
BECAUSE I DO NOT GET ALONG WITH MY FAMILY. 
IN FACT, I RECENTLY KILLED MY OWN FATHER.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
PROVE IT.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WHAT IS THIS?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
THE TOILET PAPER HE USED TO WIPE HIS ASS.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
I WAS ONLY JOKING, IT'S MY TOILET PAPER. 
I SPENT SIX MONTHS TRAVELING HERE IN A WOODEN CRATE.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
AND WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO MEEREEN?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
YOU DID. 
I KNOW THE POLITICS OF THE WEST, AND SHOULD YOU MEAN TO TAKE THE IRON THRONE, I COULD HELP YOU DO IT.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
VERY WELL. 
THE DWARF SHALL LIVE PROVIDED HE PLEASES ME.
TPH*L>> JORAH:
AND WHAT ABOUT ME, KHALEESI?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
AH YES. 
SER JORAH. 
I COMMAND YOU TO FIND THE CURE.
TPH*L>> JORAH:
CURE, KHALEESI? 
THE CURE FOR WHAT?
OH.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
COME MY LADY, WE HAVE A REBELLION TO QUELL, 100,000 DOTHRAKI SOLDIERS TO RALLY TO YOUR CAUSE, AND A THOUSAND SHIPS TO PROCURE.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
THAT SOUNDS VERY SPECIFIC. 
HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
INTERNET LEAK?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
"DEAR JON, PLEASE COME DOWN FOR HOT COCOA. 
YOUR BRUTHERS OF THE NIGHT'S WATCH." 
VERY NICE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
BRUTHERS, I'M CHILLED TO THE BONE. 
WHERE IS THIS COCOA YOU SPEAK OF?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
BRUTHERS?
TPH*L>> SER ALLISER:
FOR THE WATCH.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
OHH! 
OHHHH! 
YOU'RE KILLING ME! 
YOU'RE KILLING ME! 
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME TOO! AAAUUGGH.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
SAM.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
YES, JON? 
OH MY GOD! 
JON! 
WHAT HAPPENED?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
IT'S OKAY, SAM.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
HOW IS THIS OKAY?!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WELL, YOU SEE, I FOUND OUT THAT YOU KILLED A WHITE WALKER BEFORE I DID.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
YEP. 
JUST ONE LITTLE STAB IN THE BACK WITH A PIECE OF DRAGON GLASS.   
'TWAS NO STRUGGLE, REALLY.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
EXACTLY. 
BUT NOW I FINALLY GET TO DO SOMETHING INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT BEFORE YOU DO. 
I GET TO DIE. 
IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES, I'M HAPPY TO DO IT.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
WELL, TECHNICALLY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE DEAD FOR VERY LONG JON SNOW.
JUST LET ME ENJOY THIS MOMENT. 
PLEASE.
TPH*L>> SAMWELL:
VERY WELL.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
GAAAAAH!
I HAD THE WORST NIGHTMARE. 
ALL OF MY BROTHERS BETRAYED ME AND KILLED ME FOR UNITING THE CROWS AND THE FREE FOLK.
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
'TWAS NO DREAM MY BOY. 
WE NEED YOU. 
SHE BROUGHT YOU BACK TO LIFE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
ME? 
THE LIVING DEAD?! 
BAH, WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE THAT!
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
YOU'D BETTER HOPE EVERYONE. 
IT'S YOUR JOB TO CONVINCE THE WORLD THAT THE UNDEAD ARMY IS REAL!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
ARE YOU SAYING I'M A WHITE WALKER?
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
NO! 
WAIT.
IS HE?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
SO, I'VE COME BACK TO LIFE, BUT I'M STILL...ME. 
THAT HASN'T HAPPENED BEFORE HAS IT? 
THAT'S AMAZING! 
NO ONE IN THIS WORLD HAS EVER COME BACK TO LIFE BEFORE!!
TPH*L>> BERIC:
ACTUALLY, I HAVE. SIX TIMES.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
TPH*L>> BERIC:
SER BERIC DONDARRION OF THE BROTHERHOOD WITHOUT BANNERS.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I DON'T KNOW YOU. 
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE HERE!!
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
SER BERIC? 
FUCK OFF.
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
DON'T MIND HIM, LORD SNOW. 
MY NAME IS SER DAVOS SEAWORTH. 
I USED TO SERVE LORD STANNIS, THE RIGHTFUL KING. 
HE'S DEAD NOW, SO I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D SERVE YOU.
TPH*L>> MELISANDRE:
AND I AM MELISANDRE THE RED WITCH, MY LORD.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I DON'T CARE. 
I FINALLY UNDERSTAND. 
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO THAT SOMEONE ELSE HASN'T DONE BEFORE ME. 
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO INTERESTING THING ABOUT MY CHARACTER. 
NO SKILL, NO PERSONALITY, NO AMAZING SECRET ABOUT MY LINEAGE THAT EVERYONE HAS KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS BUT STILL HASN'T BEEN REVEALED!
TPH*L>> DAVOS:
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF, LORD SNOW. 
YOU MAY HAVE ONE LAST SURPRISE IN STORE FOR US. ONE DAY.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WHEN?!
TPH*L>> MELISANDRE:
I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT, JON SNOW.
FIRST, ONE OF THE GREAT MYSTERIES OF OUR TIME MUST BE ANSWERED.
TPH*L>> TPH*L>>BRAN STARK::
WHERE ARE WE NOW?
TPH*L>> THREE-EYED RAVEN:
DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN HOME? 
HERE STANDS WINTERFELL, ALBEIT, MANY YEARS BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.
TPH*L>> TPH*L>>BRAN STARK::
AND I TAKE IT THAT'S MY FATHER AS A YOUNG MAN.
TPH*L>> THREE-EYED RAVEN:
INDEED.
TPH*L>> TPH*L>>BRAN STARK::
IS THAT...HODOR?
TPH*L>> YOUNG NED:
OW! 
WATCH HOW YOU SWING THAT THING, WYLIS! 
I'M YOUR LORD, YOU KNOW!
TPH*L>> WYLIS:
OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY ABOUT THAT, LORD STARK. 
I CAN ASSURE YOU IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
TPH*L>>BRAN STARK:
HODOR CAN SPEAK?!
THREE-EYED RAVEN
APPARENTLY.
TPH*L>>BRAN STARK:
I MUST GET MY CAMERA TO RECORD THIS MOMENT OR NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME. 
I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE. HOLD THE DOOR.
WHAT?
TPH*L>> WYLIS”
HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR.
TPH*L>>BRAN STARK:
WHAT DID I SAY?
TPH*L>> WYLIS:
HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR.
HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR! 
HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR, HOLD THE DOOR!
BRAN STARK.
I NEVER KNEW THAT HODOR WAS A RIDDLE,
BUT AN AWFUL THING OCCURRED WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.
THERE'S A REASON THAT THIS GENTLE OX CAN ONLY SPEAK HIS NAME. 
IT'S A MIRACLE, A PARADOX,  
AND I'M THE ONE TO BLAME!
TPH*L>> MIRA:
HURRY, HODOR!! 
THE ARMY OF THE DEAD HAVE BROKEN THROUGH!
TPH*L>> HODOR:
HODOR!
TPH*L>> WYLIS:
HOE THE DOOR, HOE THE DOOR, HOE THE DOOR, HOE THE DOOR,
HOE DA DOOR, HOE DA DOOR, HOE DA DOOR,   HOE DA DOOR.
HOE THE DOOR, HOE THE DOOR, HOE THE DOOR, HOE THE DOOR,
HOE DA DOOR, HOE DA DOOR, HOE DA DOOR,   HOE DA DOOR.
TPH*L>> MIRA:
YOU MUST HOLD THE DOOR!!
TPH*L>> WYLIS:
HOE DA DAW, HOE DA DAW, HOE DA DAW,   HOE DA DAWWWW... HO DAWW, HO DAWWW,   HO DAWWW, HO DAWWW.
HODOR  HODOOOOOOORRRR! HODOOOOORRRRRR! 
HO-DOOORRRRR!!!!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
SER ALLISTER. 
AND LITTLE OLLIE. 
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH KILLING ME. YOU WERE WRONG. 
YOU SEE, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DIE. NOT ALLOWED THAT SWEET, SWEET SLUMBER.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
JON!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
SANSA? 
IT'S BEEN SO LONG. 
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
THERE'S NO TIME FOR EXPLANATIONS. 
THIS SHOW MUST END IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
BUT HAVEN'T YOU MISSED ME?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
MISSED YOU? 
THIS IS OUR FIRST SCENE OF SHARED DIALOGUE.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
OH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
WE MUST PREPARE. THE BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS DRAWS NIGH.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
THE WHAT NOW?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
YOU MUST LEAD OUR PEOPLE AGAINST RAMSAY'S ARMY.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
I DON'T WANT TO KILL!!
I MEAN, ANYMORE. 
FINE. 
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
WAIT, JON, YOU MUSTN'T BE BRASH! 
YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME. NO ONE DOES!
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
I DO, MY LADY. 
YOU ARE SO LIKE YOUR MOTHER.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
LITTLE FINGER! 
WHAT GOOD ARE YOU?! 
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT RAMSAY?
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
WITH A BIGGER BUDGET, MY LADY.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
OF COURSE.
CAN'T YOU SEE IT?
THOUSANDS OF SOLDIERS. 
HORSES GALORE. 
ARROWS POURING LIKE RAIN FROM THE SKY. 
WE WILL HAVE EPIC HANS ZIMMER-STYLE TRAILER MUSIC. IT WILL BE AN EVENT UNSURPASSED IN THE HISTORY OF CABLE TELEVISION. 
JON VS. RAMSAY, THE BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS, WITH SANSA ARRIVING UNANNOUNCED AT A PIVOTAL MOMENT WITH JUST ENOUGH MEN TO ENSURE THE VICTORY OF OUR PEOPLE!
LET IT BEGIN.
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
THE BATTLE IS OVER, MY LADY.
TPH*L>> SANSA: WHAT?! 
HOW? 
WHEN?
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
JUST NOW. 
YOU MISSED IT WHILE YOU WERE GIVING YOUR SPEECH.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
OH. 
HOW WAS IT?
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
FEATURE-FILM WORTHY. 
BUT I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT RICKON WAS KILLED IN THE FIGHTING.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
WHO'S RICKON?
TPH*L>>LITTLE FINGER:
RICKON, YOUR BROTH.
NEVERMIND, MY LADY. 
SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL IS HERE TO SEE YOU. 
MAY I PRESENT YOUR HUSBAND, RAMSAY BOLTON.
RAMSAY
WELL,  IF IT ISN'T MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
GREETINGS MY LORD. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS MOMENT.
TPH*L>> RAMSAY:
YOU WON'T HURT ME. 
I'M A PART OF YOU.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
INDEED, I WON'T HURT YOU, HUSBAND. 
BUT LOOK.
TPH*L>> SANSA:
IT'S YOUR PRECIOUS DOGS.
TPH*L>> RAMSAY:
NOOOO! 
NOOOOOOO!!!
TPH*L>> SANSA:
THEY ARE HUNGRY MY LORD! 
TPH*L>> ARYA:
I AM HERE TO KILL THE ACTRESS PLAYING CERSEI. LANNISTER IN THE SHIT STAGE PRODUCTION OF GAME OF THRONES! 
IS THIS THE RIGHT ONE?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
ARYA? 
YOU'RE ALIVE!
TPH*L>> ARYA:
A GIRL HAS NO NAME. 
IS THIS THE RIGHT SHOW OR ISN'T IT?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
THIS IS THE RIGHT ANGLE PRODUCTION OF MUSICAL THRONES.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
CHRIST. 
HOW MANY SHIT STAGE PRODUCTIONS OF GAME OF THRONES ARE THERE?
TPH*L>> THE WAIF:
THERE YOU ARE. 
A GIRL HAS FAILED IN HER MISSION, SO A GIRL MUST DIE.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WESTEROS.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
MY HOMELAND.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
AND MINE.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
YES, THE IRON THRONE AWAITS. 
ALL THE PIECES ARE FINALLY IN PLACE FOR YOU TO SAIL ACROSS THE SEA AND TAKE BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS.
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
FROM YOUR SISTER. 
"QUEEN" CERSEI WILL HAVE GROWN STRONG INDEED IF SHE THINKS SHE IS A MATCH FOR MY DRAGONS.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
LINE?
TPH*L>> MISSANDEI:
THERE ARE NO MORE LINES, LORD TYRION. 
IT SEEMS A CERTAIN SOMEONE HAS FALLEN BEHIND IN HIS WRITING.
TPH*L>> GEORGE R.R. MARTIN:
MY BAD!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
YOU KNOW WHAT? 
IT'S FINE. 
IT'LL BE MORE INTERESTING IF WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING NEXT. 
THINK OF ALL THE WONDERS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE IN STORE FOR US IN A FUTURE THAT HAS YET TO BE WRITTEN. MAYBE I WILL CONVENIENTLY RUN INTO EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN SINCE SEASON FOUR.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
PERHAPS YOU WILL ARRIVE AT YOUR ANCESTRAL HOME AND FINALLY MEET THE KING IN THE NORTH-
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
WAIT!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS, MAY IT BE A SURPRISE. 
I'D RATHER SEE WITH MY EYES,
SO KINDLY DON'T TELL ME WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
MAY WE BE FREE OF SPOILERS,   
DO NOT RUIN THE SHOW.
WHO IS GOING TO RULE? WAIT AND SEE,
IT'S EXCITING TO NOT FULLY KNOW!
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS, WILL THE SHOW MOVE TOO FAST?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
WILL WE CONSTANTLY REFERENCE THE LITTLEST THINGS FROM EPISODES PAST?
WITHOUT BOOKS TO RELY ON, MAY WE DO AS WE PLEASE?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
CAN WE TELEPORT HERE AND THERE AND APPEAR WITH RELATIVE EASE?
TPH*L>> SANSA:
HAVE YOU PUT ME ON YOUR LIST? 
DO YOU REALLY MEAN TO KILL ME?
TPH*L>> ARYA:
MAYBE.
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
WILL I LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW THAT I AM GOING TO HAVE OUR BABY?
TPH*L>> JAIME:
BABY?!
TPH*L>> TYRION:
DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS,
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS!
TPH*L>> TYRION: WILL MY SISTER FORGIVE?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
I AM READY TO RULE.
TPH*L>> TYRION:
IF I RETURN TO KING'S LANDING, WILL MY FAMILY LET ME LIVE?
TPH*L>> CERSEI:
MY HATRED FOR YOU IS MY FUEL.
TPH*L>> JAIME:
CAREFUL, SHE CAN BE CRUEL!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI AND CERSEI:
WILL THE NEW QUEEN SURRENDER,  OR WILL WE STRIKE A DEAL?
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WILL WE KIDNAP A ZOMBIE IN ORDER TO PROVE TO HER THAT IT'S REAL?
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
IF YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU, SWEAR YOUR FEALTY TO ME.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WILL I HONOR THE NORTHERNERS AND REFUSE TO BEND THE KNEE?
TPH*L>> TYRION:
IT'S UNLIKELY THE SHOW WILL START SUCKING.
TPH*L>> JON SNOW:
WE'LL HAVE ZOMBIE DRAGONS.
TPH*L>> ARYA:
AND ACTION!
TPH*L>> JAIME:
AND FUCKING!
TPH*L>> KHALEESI:
DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS...
TPH*L>> TYRION:
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT WILL BE.
EVERYONE WINTER HAS COME NOW!! 
AND SO HAVE WE!!!